National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it." -Helen Keller

 Today is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day in the United States, setting the day aside to note the loss that is so hard for many to talk about. While I have never had a miscarriage or lost a small child (and never will, Gods willing), as a mother I can grasp a small fraction of the despair that women (and their families) feel when this tragedy happens.

From the official date's website, called Remembering Our Babies:

Remembering Our Babies was created to provide support, education and awareness for those who are suffering or may know someone who has suffered a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy, a still birth, or the loss of an infant. We hope that we can help you by giving you and all of the other parents, grandparents, siblings, relatives, and friends a special day of remembrance. This special day of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance is October 15th of every year.

Given that this situation happens in almost 16% of pregnancies in the US, you may know someone affected, whether they have shared this information with the public (or friends and family) or not. It is often a silent suffering.

Here is a letter from my friend, Jeanne Bowyer, to her lost firstborn, Josie:

"I loved holding you in my arms. You nestled there for hours, we cuddled together... They tried to bring you back to life - back to us - but they couldn't. Oh, I've wished so many times since then that it had been otherwise. You were worth every second I carried you. I will love you forever - just as much as your little sister Bella. This is for all the other mamas who've lost children - they are every bit - EVERY bit as precious as their living babies. I love you so very much, Josie."

That person at work or sitting next to you on the bus that is acting tired, depressed, angry, or sad may have something that they are not sharing with you- but their mood is affecting them and those around them. I urge people to be gentle with one another, especially if someone around you is acting "irrational". We do not know what another goes through and struggles with most of the time. Grief is a profound experience, one that needs empathy and space to move.

"We shall draw from the heart of suffering itself the means of inspiration and survival."
-Winston Churchill