Silence, Simplicity, and Solitude: A Way to Focus Within (In Preparation for Meeting Your Fetch)

In our culture, we are driven to distraction by almost everything. We are constantly asked to give up silence in exchange for constant chatter- background music or talking, traffic noises, social media pinging our phones and who knows what other complications.

We are rarely alone, even if we live alone. We often make these choices ourselves: we see being alone as a failure (why wouldn't you want to be among friends or others if you could- does it mean you are unloved?) or fearing what feelings might arise if we don't have the chatter of company. This is not meaninful connection- it is mere distraction. We are not fully present with one another and having a meaningful exchange- it is mere habit and diversion from inward processes.

We cannot even go somewhere alone without interruption: stores have music soundtracks and announcements, people wish to engage our attention everywhere, and we must constantly focus outwardly to keep our bodies safe (from traffic, from others, from running into things).

These outward distractions serve to lull us into a kind of sleep. It is the sleep of constantly looking outward and focusing on anything but ourselves and our parts. It is the sleep of an automaton- someone who doesn't really think about much other than surface things throughout the day. People who live like this all the time are what I call sleepers. Witches are not sleepers- they cannot function properly* when constantly distracted. Witches function when they can access all their parts at any time and use them to optimum effect. This cannot happen when in beta brain activity all the time.

BETA WAVES - 14Hz to 20Hz. Beta waves are associated with normal waking consciousness. They are present when you are focused on activities in the outside world.

ALPHA WAVES - 8Hz to 13Hz. Alpha waves are likened to a light 

meditation. They are prevalent when you daydream. They will 

become stronger when your eyes are closed. 

THETA WAVES - 4Hz to 7Hz. Theta waves occur during heightened 

states of creativity and are found with a deep meditative state. 

DELTA WAVES - .5Hz to 3Hz. Delta waves are found in a deep sleep 

state or unconsciousness. Also, Delta waves are common in very 

deep meditation.

Distractions and allowing yourself to fall into routines of distraction keep you in beta- not allowing for the other three patterns that are associated with Witchy work. Beta does not allow the self work and inward focus that is required of a novice working to prepare themselves for a life of service that -is- the Craft. In order to function in a Witchy (sorcerous and shamanic) capacity, you need to be able to be in contact with your Fetch- which cannot happen when we are constantly distracting ourselves with others, media, and shiny things- in other words, being in beta.

What is a Witch to do to achieve other states?

First, We must identify what distracts us. One exercise is to take an audit of our week. How many times do you look at a screen each day (mobile phone, computer, television, etc.)? How many of them were absolutely necessary for your livelihood (survival) and how many were just distractions?

How many times are we alone- with no other company (including partners, children, and other people we live with)? Are you -ever- alone? Are you only alone in the bathroom and a car? A car cannot count, as you must focus outwardly on traffic to survive. Bathroom could count as being alone, though!

How many times do you seek out silence- both in yourself (you not speaking to or focusing on others) and in your environment (turning everything off and being in quiet isolation)?

How many times did you purchase or receive something unnecessary for your survival? “Shiny things” can serve as a distraction as much as noise and people can. Some people distract themselves with these kinds of purchases all the time.

Once you get a general idea of what your obstacles are, you need to implement the three S's: silence, solitude, and simplicity.

Silence: I prefer to focus on “necessary speech” rather than a "complete and utter silence" exercise. This allows you to function at work and constantly T.H.I.N.K. about what you are about to say (Thoughtful, Helpful, Informative, Necessary, Kind). Rather than not speaking at all (which could relieve some types of all responsibility of analyzing their patterns (Such as wearing a sign that says, “Sorry, I am not allowed to speak right now”.), the T.H.I.N.K. model makes a Witch constantly look to her ideas and actions and it provides greater insight into how often unnecessary speech occurs. I recommend starting with the practice for a week and increasing the commitment from there. Eventually, we want to get to the life choice that all speech is necessary and none is superfluous. (Easier said than done!) Be critical- you need to be able to be honest with yourself if you spoke unnecessarily and not justify it. Are you ready for radical but compassionate honesty with yourself?

Simplicity: fast from purchases (other than food) for an entire month. Do this while actually actively “window shopping” at places you love to frequent. While this may sound like punishment, I assure you it is not. Allow yourself to feel the longing of possession and let it wash through and over you. Revel in the beauty of said object and “consume” its beauty with your senses without acquiring it. The goal here is appreciating beauty without the need of possessing it. Once we can master such a skill, it applies to the world in general. Sleepers have divorced themselves from the rest of creation- thinking themselves isolated, separate, and often “in charge” of the rest of creation. Witches know that we are all one and a part of all creation. Possession of anything is, in fact, a lie. Once we master our desires for “things” we can master our thoughts of “control over” others.

Do not misunderstand me: being a Witch (instead of an ascetic in another religion) does not mean we must deny ourselves pleasure and beauty. These are temporary exercises putting you in the right frame of mind. They are not to deny you anything- they are actually offering you different worldviews to the tired capitalist patriarchal model of possession of beauty instead.

Solitude: To be effective, a Witch simply must have solitude regularly. That is the only way spirits, gods, and other beings will be able to communicate with us.** Often, the only time a Witch is alone is in Dream. This is simply not enough. Setting aside time for nature walks, a sitting practice, and just being alone with no media (not even a book) is paramount. Ideally, this would happen every day- but it is understandable for those of us with partners and families that this could be difficult. But it needs to happen regularly- several times a week at a minimum. What can you do to ensure that this time is available to you?

---

*Witch is a job title, not an identity (although Witches identify so strongly with their function that they cannot help seeing the world in a different way than most sleepers- which cause people to confuse it with an identity instead of a job).

**Often, we assume a voice we "hear" is a spirit or god, but it actually a part of us (and not necessarily a part we should be listening to!) because we simply canot access the brain states to hear them. And even if they manage to get through the chatter of beta brain- think about how many more messages we would be getting if we shut off monkey mind more often!

Learning the Craft: Astral Projection

So the latest skill that I am learning from my Feri teacher is astral projection (or traveling out of body). To prepare me, she had me read a book called Out of Body Adventures, which, while a tad dated, has some great practical how to information on overcoming fears and obstacles and the mechanics of making it happen. It's an easy read and makes a seemingly daunting subject accessible.

I have travelled out of body before, but the outings were never planned. Sometimes I would start while sleeping and realize that I was not actually dreaming. I've met people and been places this way that I could recount in full detail. Another time I was being led in a guided meditation in a high school class and just took off! I recouted my adventures to my teacher, who was stupefied but attentive as I recounted my journey. But traveling intentionally with a purpose is a new activity to me, and I hope to get good at it.

In Feri, we believe that your Fetch is the entity that travels out of body (and the very name we use for this part of the soul indicates one of its traditional witchcraft purposes), and so I am in essence learning to send one third of my soul out into the worlds to do my bidding. Fetch has its root in this word.



Astral projection is something that most religions agree upon (although not all scientists!), from the ancient Egyptians to the present day. Even Christians acknowledge its existence, even if they do not work with the tool religiously: "before the silver cord be loosed, or the golden bowl be broken, or the pitcher be shattered at the fountain, or the wheel be broken at the cistern" refers to this practice and is from the book of Ecclesiastes. Paul also talks of astral projection in his second letter to the Corinthians as well. Surprised? So was I!

Many traditional witches use a "flying ointment" or (shamans also use plant allies for this practice) to help with the journey. I am not against such a method, but am learning unassisted this time around- so that I can learn what it is like without aids before I add those into a repertoire. I personally think a witch should be able to do both.

Have any of y'all had out of body experiences? I'd love to hear about them! Feel free to post them in the comments, or email them to me!

Guest Blog Post! Introducing Elements to Children: Water

Today's blog post is a guest post from... (drum roll please!) Big Faery Daddy, an awesome blogger in his own right and Rowan's father. Since he has been giving Rowan his baths and been responsible for Rowan's exposure to Water, it seemed appropriate.

Lily and I have been introducing Rowan to the Elements of Life, the principle substances that coalesce to bring into being the living cosmos, the four states of matter/energy of which the world is composed, and which we as Witches demarcate as Earth, Air, Fire, Water. A fifth substance is recognized, Aether, which is the underlying energy which takes on these states to manifest.

Each of the Elements works as a symbol, representing a variety of qualities and energies. To quote Gabriel Carrillo: "When we speak about Fire, Water, Air and Earth, we are not speaking about the composition of chemicals, but of how our inner self understands the psychic qualities of the Elements. The Elements are used in magic to create alchemical changes produced by studying, defining, comprehending and embodying them. Clarifying and balancing the Elements internally transforms and greatly enlarges our sense of awareness of ourselves and of the world around us."

This week I have been focusing on Water, which is the liquid state of matter and whose power is Fluidity. In the body, Water manifests in the lymphatic and circulatory systems, and in the mind it manifests as adaptability. These heady associative principles are not something Rowan is going to understand right now, and I needed to appeal to his Fetch, or animal-soul.

I decided that introducing him to Water in the shower would be the best bet -- it's about the only time he really interacts directly with that Element. I often have Lily hand him to me when I'm in the shower so I can give him a good wash, since he hates baths. I usually spritz him with water quickly and then use a washcloth with baby shampoo on it to scrub him gently, then rinse him off again quickly. But today we took our time.

When Lily passed him off, I put him under the showerstream and cradled him against me, so that it was running down the back of his head and making sure it wasn't spraying him in the face, which he clearly dislikes. I let the falling water create a little pool in the hallow of his body nestled up next to mine, and dipped his hands in it, then lifted a small amount in my palm to trickle down his front. He liked it and laughed, so we did that game a few times.

Then I began rocking him while the water was running over us, and I began to invoke the Element of Water, "seeing" the water from the showerstream begin to glow a soft blue, (its principle color association), falling down over us, cleansing us.

Water is very much associated with cleansing and purity in Feri, mainly in a ritual we call Kala, a water rite that unbinds knoted up power within our energy bodies and physical form. A ritual bath is very much the same thing as Kala.

I began to sing a chant that the spirits gave me some years ago:

Mama wash over me, Mama wash over me;
White waves cresting, in the deep blue sea,
breaking over my beautiful body,
Mama wash me clean.

He liked the song, and began to vocalize softly and smile while I was singing it. I then thanked the spirits of Water, and as I was doing so, I could feel Rowan's emotional centers begin to get a little intense, and he began swinging back and forth between laughing and fussing.

It was time to pass him back to Mommy. When we did the handoff, he began to cry, and Lily took him in a towel to dry him off, get him grounded again, and centered.

It was a good adventure, a good introduction to an element that is very "shifty," but next time I'll make sure I have some better grounding going on.

It will be great to see how he develops as a little Witchboy, having a clear relationships with the Elements and the spirits associated with them. So precious!

Io Evhoe!

Big Faery Daddy is a blog about the journey of a queer father, Witch and Radical Faerie as he struggles to hold all of those identities.

Teaching Children the Craft: Etheric Anatomy, Energy Work, and Three Souls

In this new ongoing series, I am sharing insights and making proposals regarding teaching children the Craft. My hope is that you, the readers, will join me by using the comments section. Please make comments, ask questions, and engage is dialogue with me and each other in this section. My hope is that fruitful communication will benefit us all in the form of a Craft curriculum for kids of witches everywhere.


Teaching a baby about Etheric Anatomy, Energy Work, and the Three Souls:
My son is less than a year old, and I am already "teaching" him concepts in the Craft. Given that he doesn't understand very many words yet, the concepts are rudimentary and are mainly shown, not told.  Basically, I am teaching his Fetch through experience. What exactly am I teaching? Energetic work- how to use parts of the etheric anatomy to serve you and your loved ones.

Rowan's Talker is not yet fully developed (visually, it is pretty misty and freeform- it often extends towards things he is interested in, rather than staying around him) and he relies upon mommy and daddy to encompass him in their Talkers to shield him from undesirable situations. His talker has not created hard boundaries yet.

Often, I will use breath or energy to change his auric field and show him that I am doing this intentionally. I'll smile really big when he first notices the energy shift (babies are hilarious and cannot hide anything that they feel) and laugh to show him it is safe and OK. Sometimes, I'll just send a energy band of color his way. Sometimes, I'm a sneaky mommy and use it to get him to (finally!) sleep.

He has started to ask for this kind of shielding when we are in situations that he does not like (sketchy people, people on drugs, etc.). It's amazing to see when a non-verbal lesson pays off so early. More on teaching Rowan and other children Craft lessons soon!

For more information on Etheric Anatomy (and the words Talker and Fetch and what I mean by those) and Feri, I suggest the books linked here (50 Years in the Feri tradition and Etheric Anatomy).