Heartsick

A vigil in Wisconsin (Chicago Tribune)

Today, as I drove my partner to work, I heard the news. Another mass shooting using semi automatic weapons, this time targeting worshippers in a Sikh temple in Wisconsin. This, of course, follows the news of the Aurora, CO shooting in a movie theater, and the gun death of a friend's son recently.

In the wake of what happened in Aurora, I have gotten into futile debates with my partner's relatives (who happen to be Fox-News-watching, gun-toting people) about guns a lot lately. They believe if everyone were allowed to conceal carry their gun, violence would diminish. They believe semi-automatic weapons should be legal. This of course, defies logic, but no one who watches Fox News watches it for logic or statistics.* News flash: Wisconsin has some of the most permissive gun laws in the country and had passed a law in 2011 allowing citizens to carry a concealed weapon. This kind of law allowed a 40 year old white man to travel to the temple undetected and start firing on worshippers and kill some of them before anything could be done.

If concealed carry was legal in Aurora, it would not have saved the people that died, it may have even made the death toll worse in that dark theater, vision further obscured by a gas canister, released by the gunman. The people that argue that point befuddle me. If people are going to commit acts of terrorism, access to weapons of mass killing only helps them. It harms everyone else. Concealed carry laws and access to semi automatic weapons only allow people like George Zimmerman and James Holmes to kill innocent people.

Vigil, photo from Chicago Tribune.

I say this: If you are going to carry a gun, I believe it should be on the outside of your clothes, where everyone can see it. You should have to broadcast that you see violence as a solution to your problems and that you are a potential lethal threat to others. You should have to put one of those car magnet signs on the outside of your car that you are packing heat at that moment.  No one should be able to legally ambush another person.

My heart goes out to the victims of gun violence today: my new friend, whom I ran into at the bookstore yesterday. Her eyes were red from crying as she watched her youngest kids (my son's new friends) play with the train sets before they headed to a movie. "I am just trying to get out and do normal things." she told me. Her grief is palpable and the hole in her heart is visible from the outside. After I met her kids a couple weeks ago, I sought her out and visited her. We became friends and I am hosting them all for dinner this week. After a month of making funeral arrangements and working on gun control efforts around the state, she is left with an open schedule and lots of unprocessed grief. She needs people to be kind to her now more than ever.

Victims being escorted out of the temple, Chicago Tribune.

My heart mourns for the Sikh community in Wisconsin and nationwide, whom are probably wondering why they were targeted (and perhaps speculating, as I am, that they were once again mistaken for Muslims and this was a hate motivated crime**. Some witnesses said he had a 9/11 tattoo, marking the September 11, 2001 attacks by Islamic militants). My pryers today are with the families of the Sikhs who died and the ones traumatized by this attack.

My heart mourns for the victims of the Aurora, CO shooting as well. This senseless violence needs to stop. I am sick to death of gun nuts (and if you own more than a couple guns, I define you this way) telling us MORE guns are the answer to gun violence. I am heartsick today.

The only way to stop these attacks is stop allowing access to weapons that are only designed to kill people. (I say that for civilians, police (who ill more innocent people daily than the crazed mass murderers mentioned above), the military, and everyone. Semi-automatic weapons are a coward's weapon. It allows a safe distance from which to mow people down without regard to their life and their divine spark. It amplifies the disconnection that one must feel to make them capable of murder. It allows a murderer to not see the anguish they inflict as they kill.

                               Forgive the ranting today. I needed to vent.

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*You watch that right-wing drivel because it tells you what you want to hear. It confirms your prejudices and places blame for you in a convenient, bigoted place. Why is it that everyone I know who uses Fox News and right-wing radio as their main news sources are incapable of anything more than mimicking the soundbites that they provide? When I engage in debate I seek sources, analyze facts, and have something more to offer than a catchphrase to defend my position. Sheeple make me angry when they choose to remain ignorant.

** Thank you, Jeff Dunham, you racist piece of shit for helping confuse uneducated America that terrorists wear turbans. Your "comedy" is little more than bigotry with puppets. You are a national disgrace. (

Sikhs wear turbans, Muslim men do not need to wear a head covering). And there have been more acts of terrorism committed by white men in this country than any other race. Religion, when it is true, connects people. No religion that preaches hate is a religion in truth. It is extremism and fundamentalism, regardless of the religious clothing that it wears that is at issue here.

A Summer of Endings

Today, I attended the first of two memorial services I have scheduled for the week. It has been a summer of endings and death, in more ways than one.

Barry.

Today, I was at my seminary, attending a memorial service for a fellow student- his death was sudden, is still unexplained, and shocking to all of us. His loss is profoundly felt by all that knew him- he was the type of person that made a big impression and was never stingy with his affections, matter-of-fact (quite psychic) advice, or butt kickings (when that was what was needed). As one fellow student said, "I am stunned and angry that I will not be reading his amazing theology and social justice books and getting advice from him in the years to come." Rest in Peace, Barry McCauley.

A tarot tribute to JP.

On Saturday, I am attending the Bay Area memorial for a fellow Radical Faerie sister, JP Hartsong, known to many as Spiral, RootSister, or simply, "Rootsie". He was a lover, an activist, an organizer, and teacher and he had such a profound impact on all that knew him. I always have such respect for those that build- relationships, organizations, families, and tribe- and JP did all of those things with zeal. I am sorry that I was unable (as we all were) to be of more help to him in this life and he chose to end his life in a way that was shocking and sad for those he left behind. I prefer to remember in life, teaching songs and orgaizing gatherings than his passing. May you pass into the next world easily and gently, JP. May you finally find ease.

Gabriel Carrillo on the harp
photo by Tim Wayne.

My partner is working on a project that smacks of endings and death as well- he is in charge of cleaning out a dead initiate's (in the tradition we both are a part of) storage locker and making sure anything of value gets into the right hands. The unit is cram-packed with personal effects and reminders of who this man was- a woodworker, a harpist, and one hell of a Witch. This was my partner's beloved teacher, who died several years ago. I am sure the opening of the storage unit- which symbolizes what tangible items are left of this beloved brother of the Craft will be a little misty-making.

And of course, we are leaving the Bay Area behind. As we make appointments to hang out with people "one last time", plan our Lughnasadh farewell feast, and tie up loose ends, it is bittersweet. We will miss much and many here, but look forward to building a new life in our new home. Every ending is a beginning. Even when we are grieving, we must remember that.