Flow, Fate, and Will (for me, personally)

Fate, by Alphonse Mucha

So now that I have tackled the fictions of Will, and defined it as Fate or Flow- what is this Witch doing to follow it? After all, that is what a Witch does- we make manifesting things look easy because we are following Flow and letting it do most of the work. That is not to say that this work is easy. Surrender of ego is never easy. Which is why Witches often have a sitting practice and perform alchemy on themselves all the time.

And its easy to mistake Will/Fate for ego/desire. People do it all the time. A Witch listens very closely, internally and externally, to discern which is which. It takes practice (and messing up a lot) to be able to tell the difference.

Columbus, Ohio was never on my radar. I am still surprised and appalled that I am here on some days. It was never a first choice. Don't get me wrong, Columbus-ians! It is a lovely city with lots of great things to offer. I am delighted when I discover a new one. But my body thrums with delight when on the coasts. I miss the ocean, the mountains, and the forests. I know that I shall return to the coast eventually. Flow will lead me there, I know it. I have seen it. I keep asking to see if this is my desire/ego or if this is something that we should actually do. I will keep asking as I plan toward that goal.

by Jessica Hagy.

I know now, especially in retrospect, that I was meant to be here for a while, even though ego is still pouting about being in Columbus (or the Midwest at all). Fate drew me here for several reasons. And because I have followed Fate, certain opportunities continue to open for me and life is much easier than it was in California. I have been rewarded with opportunities and more ease in my efforts.

Why am I here?

1. Space and ease while accomplishing my Will.
Columbus is simply easier to make things happen- finances, networking, opportunities- I can afford a spacious place for half what we paid in California in a better neighborhood. Childcare is cheaper. I have made friends that help me when I need it. I have a support network for my family. All this makes it possible to go to grad school, have my partner finish school, and still spend time with Rowan and be a tight-knit family.

2. Opportunities.
We found our (below market rent) home through connections.
Our child care situation was just as easy to establish.
Boline is growing and thriving here. (I went from simply making things for me and my family and friends, to having on online store, being in retail locations, doing two different farmer's markets each month, and leading workshops- all in one year.)
I found the PERFECT school for me to attend. It just so happens to be the most reputable TCM school in the entire midwest- and it's 10 minutes from my house.
My partner is finally going back to school, because we could afford to get him out of student loan default here. He starts in January.

3. Connections.
I randomly meet someone here, only to have them become an important connection. A random attendee at one of our movie nights now runs a community garden, for example. She contacted me to ask if they could grow medicinal herbs for Boline. I in turn asked if they had a hoop house so I could overwinter my container plants. Super win-win for both entities.
I found an apprentice (even though I was in no way looking for one). He moved here because Flow brought him here, too. Pretty neat.
The woman I met online before we came to Columbus (who ran a neat art group), became the neighbor who got us a great housing deal. When we lost power last summer, we spent our days on the porch, grilling what was next thawing in our freezers. We watched the kids play outside and our burdens were made so much easier having each other. She is also an awesome child care giver and Rowan goes over there several times a week. I have never had a better neighbor situation.

All of this ease and energetic spaciousness tells me I am following the River. I can let go and let it carry me for a while.

So what is my Will/Fate, as best as I can see for now?

To heal people. To raise an amazing child (who asked to be here) to be an amazing Witch. Allow the called to find me so that I can teach them to be Witches in service of Fate, too. These are the things that I have been called to do. So how do I make these things happen?

My goals for Columbus:
1. Do excellently in school and learn as much as possible to become an excellent healer. Pass my national boards and get licensed for OH and OR before I move.

2. Teach Rowan to read, count to 1000, add, subtract, and multiply before we leave. Continue his Witchy education every week as well. Spend lots of loving, quality time with him.

3. Build and streamline Boline Apothecary so that when I move it, it is easy to start up in OR. Continue my herbal education and connections, making things better for people in C'bus. Keep learning and help people while I am here.

4. Teach my apprentice to the best of my ability and get him to a point where we can assess whether he should continue training (and move to OR with us) or move on.

Everything else is gravy! So in manifesting my Will, I need to keep these 4 things in mind. I need to ensure I have enough life space to make these things happen, make sure that I am feeding these goals with words and deeds in my daily life. Making every day choices that reinforce what my goals are.

I often do this kind of assessment several times a year, doing divination to ensure it's not just ego talking. How do you follow your Fate?

Watching My Son Grow: Goal Setting

I have always be a "do-er". I am a list maker, a goal setter, a strategic planner. I also believe in letting kids be kids and letting play and natural exploration govern their learning. So how do I strike a balance between these two philosophies with my son?

Introducing... "The Rowan Station"! It is a kid-height bulletin board in our kitchen that helps Rowan focus on things we (his father and I consult on these things with Rowan) think he needs to work on. They are interests that come up (Soon he will be taking violin, for example. I never would have picked that instrument- Rowan picked it. (I am more of a drum girl, myself.) I look forward to rusty hinge noises during practice for the coming years- groan!), as well as developmental milestones, and age-appropriate topics. We pick five- it seems like a reasonable amount of things to juggle and maintain interest without being overwhelming. With five things, we can switch from topic to topic, so nothing gets boring or seems like we are drilling him (what could divert enthusiasm faster?).

Right now, as Rowan approaches his third birthday, this is what he is working on:

1. Phonics. He knows his alphabet, and is about halfway through knowing the sound of the consonants. It's very exciting, and we cheer him on and tell him how close he is to learning to read himself. He is so excited to learn to read. We go to the library weekly and check out a huge tote bag full of books. We get him picture books as well as young adult chapter books that aren't overly scary. Right now, besides picture books, he is hearing stories from Rudyard Kipling, Maurice Sendak, and Roald Dahl. He loves books and memorizes the shorter ones so he can tell the stories to himself when we are not reading aloud. It is adorable.

2. Manners. Oh my. How this mama wishes that manners were an innate quality humans have. But alas, my preschooler is a beastie with no sense of propriety. Manners is an umbrella term we are using for respecting others and being a good citizen, family member, and friend. What are "bad manners"? Littering, crowding people, watching people in the bathroom, staring at others while in a restaurant, chewing with your mouth full, picking toe jam or your nose at the table (ugh!), and interrupting conversations (particularly with shouting, whining, or demands). We are focusing on giving people space, privacy, and table manners while eating right now.

Rowan scored very high in problem solving
in his preschool assessment. Here he is,
piecing a puzzle together.

3. Numbers and Counting. We are spanning the bridge between knowing the memorized sequence of numbers in their order and using that to actually count objects properly. We have him in the kitchen when we cook, "helping us" by counting out tortillas, for example.

The first three items are things we are actively working on, daily (and Rowan is right there, on board). The last two items are things that he is ready to do, according to all the experts, but is not doing as well as he could be. We have them on the list as a reminder to the adults that we should be putting the idea out there and raising the bar gradually on these items.

4. Getting Dressed and Undressed. He has shown no interest in actually doing it himself, which surprises me. He is so eager to be a "big boy" in other areas. We ask him to put on his jacket and after we get the zipper in the right position, to zip it up. He can put on his own frog boots (although he still has not mastered which foot!) but it is harder for other shoes without pull-up handles. He shows no interest in dressing himself, but wants to pick out his own clothes. I think the next step will be that he gets to pick out things if he is willing to put them on (or try).

5. Potty Learning. We would love for him to be actively trying, but right now he isn't. We ask all the time if he wants to sit on the potty, but right now he would rather use a diaper. He actively poops in his diaper instead of trying the potty. Sigh. We are not pressuring him- what's the point? There will come a time when he is ready and it will be a quick process when that time comes. In the meantime, it is something we keep reminding him of because he is at the age to start sometime soon.

If you notice (in the first picture), he also has a small calendar on the board- to teach him about the passage of time. He is curious about it and uses the words "today", "tomorrow", and the days of the week incorrectly at times. So I wanted to show him what they actually mean by using a calendar. I put events on there that will help him mark the passage of time (birthdays, Friday Family Fun Night, potlucks, storytimes, etc.), and we have him cross off the days as they pass. I am hoping that by using a visual aid, he will come to a better understanding of this abstract concept.

How do you teach your kids (both academic subjects at home and life skills)? Do you set goals, either privately amongst adults or including the child(ren)?