Tangible Witchcraft: Compassion Altar

Compassion is a quality which I wish to cultivate more of. It's not that I am not compassionate- I am. It's just that my compassion tends to manifest in ways that many do not recognize or notice. I am not a huge hugger, I tend to offer solutions more often than some want when they are looking for a shoulder to cry on.

Even before studying the Witchcraft tradition that I have been initiated into, I was following precepts of many warrior traditions. I am one of those people whose compassion is not expressed as affection. I am often seen as cold, blunt, and judgmental. (I see myself as reserved, blunt, and discerning, LOL.)

 I admire those who can listen without offering judgement or advice. I admire those people who are rays of sunshine that recharge your batteries just by interacting with them. I have never been one of those people, but I aspire. It's one of the reasons that I love my shiny Radical Faerie kin. I may never get there, but I will keep trying.

One of the ways that I remind myself of this practice and goal is a compassion altar. It is small, and now in my dining room. It is a small wire shelf and it holds:

Tibetan Prayer Flags: "Traditionally, prayer flags are used to promote peace, compassion, strength, and wisdom. The flags do not carry prayers to gods, a common misconception; rather, the Tibetans believe the prayers and mantras will be blown by the wind to spread the good will and compassion into all pervading space. Therefore, prayer flags are thought to bring benefit to all."
A small shrine with a stone bodhisattva. A boddhisatva is someone who takes on enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, not just stopping the wheel of reincarnation for themselves.

A statue of St. Francis: a compassionate protector of animals.

A card of the Virgen de Guadaloupe/Tonantzin: "In the poem the Lady not only appears as an ordinary dark-skinned indigenous woman and speaks to Juan Diego in his Nahuatl mother tongue but she treats him with affection and respect, as an equal. (She speaks to him standing up; if she had been a noble, she would have received him sitting down.) She addresses him in familiar language, using many diminutives, like a mother. The indigenous Nahuatl people had seen their world destroyed, their great capital city in ruins, their culture and religion smashed. An estimated population of 25 million when the Spaniards arrived declined by the end of the century to 1 million from conquest, disease and suicide. The psychological trauma must have been devastating. But the Lady tells Juan Diego she is the Mother both of the Christian god (Dios) and the supreme Nahuatl god and she repeats some of that god’s highest titles (Life-Giver, Creator of Humanity, Lord of the Near and Together, Lord of Heaven and Earth). When Juan Diego says he is of too humble status to speak to the bishop, she insists he is her chosen messenger and he ends up carrying the good news to the bishop (‘evangelising’ him). The Lady represents the female aspect of the divinity (the Nahuatl supreme divinity Ometeotl being both male and female – the Divine Pair), the nurturing Earth Mother. She tells Juan Diego: ‘I am your kind mother and the mother of all the nations that live on this Earth who would love me.’ She accords the poor equal, or even greater, dignity than the rich and equally assumes both Christian and Nahuatl names of the great ‘Life-Giver’."

A red charm given to me by a Faery initiate (that I have never met. She sent me this charm when she heard of my pregnancy troubles).

Praying hands that open to Siddhartha Gautama Buddha

Two prayer cards invoking White Tara

A lotus candle holder

The Laughing Buddha

This is less a shrine about devotional practices to a specific set of dieties than it is a spell- a spell on myself. It serves as a daily reminder of whom I aspire to be.

Handling Conflict with Our Children Compassionately

I am so fortunate to have a resource where I live like the East Bay Meditation Center. They are a completely volunteer run, donation sponsored, Buddhist Sangha that has group sitting time and dharma talks. I have attended the Alphabet Sangha on Wednesday evenings and it is such a beloved space to me. They also have special sitting times for people of color and differing physical abilities, as they are trying to meet the needs of my community. In addition to the usual fare, they also host great workshops, offered on myriad subjects. All workshops are free, although in the spirit of Dana, you are asked to give to the center and/or the teacher if you can.


The East Bay Meditation Center from East Bay Meditation Center on Vimeo.

Last week, I went to a great talk on "Handling Conflict With Our Children Compassionately". It was taught by Shahara Godfrey, a member of the sangha and someone who has worked with all ages of children professionally- from infancy to teen years. Given that Rowan is entering full-blown toddlerhood, I figured staying one step ahead of the game and entering this phase with my eyes open was probably a wise thing!

It was a great workshop for me, as more than anything else- I learned what I was in for! The teacher and I were both surprised that only two parents showed up with kids under 2 (me included-our small group has plenty of time for both of us to talk!). The rest had kids from 3-5, 6-8, 9-12, and teens. From the stories they told and the support they were seeking (and these are gentle parents who came to a Buddhist center for a parenting class), I could tell parenting is going to be the ride of my life, as well as an exercise in patience.

I have to say, having three sessions of meditation (a sit, a walking meditation and then Metta) in one day was positively luxurious for this Witch. Since Rowan was born, I am lucky if I get to sit for 30 minutes a couple times a week. I find that it makes a world of difference in how I interact with him, my partner, and the world- so I am hoping to cultivate a life where daily sitting is possible.

This was a workshop on mindful parenting firmly rooted in the 5 precepts of the Buddha (Here's the Thich Nhat Hanh version, for those so inclined). Our teacher identified more with the 5 precepts as reinterpreted by the Manzanita Village in southern California:

Sculpture using actual human bones.

1. Aware of the violence in the world and of the power of non-violent resistance
I stand in the presence of the ancestors, the earth, and future generations
and vow to cultivate the compassion that seeks to protect each living being.

2. Aware of the poverty and greed in the world and of the intrinsic abundance of the earth,
I stand in the presence of the ancestors, the earth, and future generations
and vow to cultivate the simplicity, gratitude, and generosity that have no limits.

3. Aware of the abuse and lovelessness in the world and of the healing that is made possible when we open to love
I stand in the presence of the ancestors, the earth, and future generations
and vow to cultivate respect for the beauty and erotic power of our bodies.

4. Aware of the falsehood and deception in the world and of the power of living and speaking the truth
I stand in the presence of the ancestors, the earth, and future generations
and vow to cultivate the ability to listen; and clarity and integrity in all I communicate—by my words and actions.

5. Aware of the contamination and desecration of the world and of my responsibility for life as it manifests through me
I stand in the presence of the ancestors, the earth, and future generations
and vow to cultivate discernment and care in what I take into my body and mind.

I was blown away by each parent and what they had to say- they were hoping to use their practice and beliefs to cultivate engaged empathy when having conflict with their kids. To use it to be able to pause, reflect and engage their kids where they are at, rather than flying off the handle (which we all do sometimes).

Can you imagine if we all, as human beings, used these precepts to guide us through life and our interactions with each other? That is, of course, the work of a lifetime. It's much easier to start smaller- and what better place to start than at home, with our children?

What guidelines, quotes, or advice guide you as a parent?

3rd Annual Pagan Values Month

I was delighted to find out that June is (in addition to Queer Pride month) Pagan Values month, a time when we bloggers and podcasters can hash out just what it is we stand for and help the world understand what we are all about. I will be joining the ranks of (hopefully) many other bloggers making a statement of what I believe.

I want to start here by saying that "Pagan" is not necessarily a term that I personally identify with- I identify as a Witch. But I use "Pagan" as a catch-all umbrella term to lump lots of people together who are natural allies. They are minority, non-Abrahamic religions that include many earth-centered (or not!), magick working (or not!), and polytheistic (or not!) folks. Some are animists, some are pantheists, and some (mysteriously) don't really work with gods at all. Not all categories apply to all folks falling under the umbrella- hence my ambivalence about the term as applied to me. But being a great lover of community, bridge-building, and organizing to make the world a better place, I embrace the term as one of political expedience, coalition-building, and cultural shorthand.

So given that caveat, let's get to the task at hand, shall we? What do I believe and how does that inform my values?

1. The gods are real. To quote Raven Kaldera in his fab essay, "On Being a Neo-Pagan Fundamentalist": "The first, and most important tenet, is that a Neo-Pagan fundamentalist actually believes in the existence of every single deity that s/he worships. Deities are not merely theoretical archetypes, nor vague energy forms that can be ordered about by the human mind, nor merely parts of our own deep selves. They do not depend on human attention and worship to exist, although the lack of it may weaken their connection to the world. They have their own lives and personalities when we are not interacting with them, and yes, they are more powerful than we are." I work with many god/desses and "believe" in them all. When Christians ask me if I believe in God, I usually say, "Yes- but which one are you talking about specifically?" I believe in the god that their Bible speaks of, I just don't like that one very much and do not work with him. Which leads me to #2:

2. I myself am a god and am equal to other gods. You heard me. I am divine in my own right and when I worship a god, it is not prostrating myself and submitting myself. I kneel before a god in reverence the same way I kneel before a lover. I worship them as I would a lover as well. The reason I don't much like the Christian god or want to work with him is he seems to demand submission of life force from his followers and monogamy (the whole "no other gods before me" jazz), two things I don't approve of for myself. I am a hard polytheist, don't submit my life force to any one or any thing, and not very monogamous. Your mileage may vary.


3. Magic(k) is real- so are other realms that we don't always see and so are other non-corporeal beings. The world is not a rational place, no matter how convenient a reality that would be for us. There is Mystery and Paradox and I am comfortable with that.

4. Many paths lead to the same place. I have gladly gone to Jewish Renewal Shabbat services, Sufi Zhikrs, and worship at Unitarian churches. I have chanted and broken bread with Hare Krishnas and tantrics. I have sat in Buddhist meditation centers and listened to dharma talks. As long as a religion is open to me and my beliefs, I am open and happy to explore them. They all hold truths. No one has a monopoly on ethical behavior and the "one true way" is a lie- which leads me to #5:

5. Diversity is good. Genderful, sexual, and racial diversity! Different ages, physical abilities, mental abilities, ethnicities, points of view, and religions! All these differences are fascinating, delightful, make the world interesting place and are virtues. The fact that there are political minorities left out of decision making or denied the same rights as others is unethical and anti-religious. Which leads me to #6:

6. Religion that divides us or inspires hate is not religion. It deserves no audience. As I said in an earlier post on this blog, "Simply put, a theology that preaches disconnection from others, regardless of the reason, is not a real religion- it is simply hate speech wrapped up in a corrupt theology. You heard me. Yes, I said that. I am calling recent statements by the pope and Mormon deacons unreligious.

Religion, at its core, is an idea of wholeness- from creation to destruction and everything in between. It encompasses all of humanity and indeed all of creation. A church that does not embrace all living things as equals, one that sees some people as more inherently virtuous than others is not a religious institution. When done properly, religion cannot be used as an instrument of hate. When it is, calling it religion is a misnomer."

7. Community is something we need, crave, and should be actively building, not ripping down. I am weary of "Witch wars" and pagan drama. I hate factions within my other communities, too. We have more in common than not, and we need one another, like it or not. I am curmudgeonly and misanthropic at times, but I value community and tribe and family and recognize its place. Anyone who works to divide us (through malicious speech, violence, covert actions, or otherwise) is acting against their on interests. I try and avoid people like that, all the while acting to ameliorate their damage to the greater good. which leads me to #8:

8. Compassion is at the center of religious thought. "Passion" literally means "to suffer" (think passion of the Christ for those unfamiliar with this definition), and "compassion" means to "suffer with others", in other words, to feel others' pain.

The Buddhists, when they talk of life as suffering, are correct. (That is not to say that life is misery and woe and that there is no beauty. Far from it- that particular take on the word "suffering" is incorrect and a modern spin for our comfort-driven society.) We all suffer to live- and we cause others' suffering while we live and to continue our own lives (at the expense of others). Does this fact mean we cannot be compassionate? No. It means it is our duty to feel the others' pain and offer it up as a sacred offering.

From a Kabbalistic standpoint, compassion is located at the Tiphareth sephirot- the very center of the Tree of Life. It is that way for a very specific reason. It is at the heart of not only everyday spiritual practice, but mystical practice as well. All paths leads to and from this place/state of being.

As a Witch, I believe that when you have compassion, you suffer with others, then you offer it up (I personally offer it to my patroness- it is her favorite flavor.).

Now, many times compassion is confused with pity or allowing others to continually make mistakes. Let me make this clear- compassion for others is not what Victor Anderson called "coddling weakness", rather- it often takes the form of a swift kick in the pants (what many Buddhists call ruthless compassion or fierce compassion). But Victor also wisely added that we need to "respect one another's frailties" as well. We cannot become indifferent to others, if we do- we risk becoming disconnected from one another and God Herself. Disconnection breaks the web of life.

These are a few of the things I believe as a Witch and will teach my son. What are your "pagan values"?