My Yule, Appalachian Christmas, Mennonite Christmas/Chanukah with Rowan

Opening Yule gifts.

Life is weird and delightful. Let me just get that out of the way from the get-go. I know that as a Witch (who is a hard polytheist and has a very particular theology counter to what many people know and experience), my life is always going to be a little surreal. That's OK. I chose this life and am happy to live it.

Raising Rowan with our (his father is also a Witch) values while simultaneously respecting the religions of his relatives and friends is always challenging and takes a lot longer than keeping to ourselves or giving up/in to Santa Claus and the typical American secular Christmas.

New Trike!

So this time of year, we celebrate Yule as a family on the 21st, then Christmas with extended family, and then Chanukah with close friends. We counted down to Yule using an advent calendar with special fun and/or candy each day. The morning of the solstice, we opened gifts that were placed beneath a holiday tree that we decorated ourselves (as an event on the calendar!).

I am all about celebrating the traditions that were/are ours as pagans, polytheists, and Witches. I also let Rowan know that Christians do these things too- because they wanted in on the Witchy fun.* So we do the tree, gifts, lights, feasts, all the fun things that most people like about Christmas, but aren't specifically Christian in origin.

A "fallen" snow angel.

Rowan's grandparents are a little puzzled when we tell them that "we celebrated on the 21st", even though they know we are Witches. They ask few questions because they are afraid of the answers. That's OK. At each sabbat, it's all about connection- retying ourselves to the Wheel and each other. So I will not diminish the connection by forcing my views on anyone. And I expect the same from Christians and Jews.

Snow demon

After Yule (in addition to the advent calendar, the tree, and gifts, we had a log that burns three candles, had held a sabbat with other trad Witches in the area at our home), we trekked to Appalachia to Rowan's paternal grandparent's home for Christmas. We had a party that evening with aunties and uncles and cousins (where the family participates in a white elephant gift exchange and receives gifts from the family matriarch), then opened gifts for one another. Rowan made out like a bandit, as did the elder Kunnings- we got a flatscreen TV. (More on this in subsequent blog posts, I am sure.)

Rowan and E.

After several days relaxing with grandparents, we journeyed northward to Bluffton, a charming Mennonite settlement town in Northwest Ohio.

There we celebrated a family Christmas (late) with a family not our own. We traveled there to see our friend, R, and her daughter, E. We know them (and R's partner, D, from our childbirth class with the midwife we shared.

Our children were born a week apart and they have been friends their whole lives, literally. We are close to R and D and cannot wait until they leave San Francisco for Pennsylvania. After that, we will be spending one weekend a month with one another, rotating PA for OH, after they move. Huzzah! For now, we keep in touch with Skype and infrequent visits.

Rowan and E.

Can I just say? I love the way that R's family is with one another. It is a huge family, and very close. They are intellectuals and value education and the arts. It is a pleasure to play "Family Fun Game" with them or watch them open their gift exchange. They are also very active in social justice movements and pacifists, which is a welcome change after Appalachia- where Fox News, polarization, and guns are the norm. R's father is Jewish and her mother is Mennonite. She always resonated with the Jewish side of herself and when she was pregnant, she converted to Judaism and now she and her daughter are Jewish and they do shabbat every week and this time of year, they celebrate Chanukah. So we celebrate with them, too.

My holidays are far from the norm, but I love them. I love that Rowan is growing up with a big universe and knows all kinds of people.

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*When he gets older, I will let him know that many Christians do not understand that what they do is pagan in origin- and that is OK. We do not need to rub it in their faces, as long as Christians do not begrudge us our fun, we will not piss on their parade, either. (And most of the Christians that we know and love do understand that most cultural trappings of Christmas are actually Euro-pagan and do not care.)

Friday Family Fun Night!

The Candle and Poem in question...

So we have started this weekly ritual at my house- we call it Friday Family Fun Night. We were inspired by our Jewish friends who are lucky enough to have Shabbat every Friday evening-Saturday day. After spending many Shabbats with them, we were encouraged to come up with a personalized, Witchy equivalent.

So... what is the ritual about? The ritual marks the end of the work week (which is harder to do than you might think). It is about making time for family relationships and connections and having fun.

And what do we do? The ritual has morphed since we started (and I further expect it to morph as we go), but as of now we light a special candle that mama made (which burns all night during our time together), read aloud a poem that daddy wrote for the occasion, and then stomp around the dining room table (often with flamboyant arm gestures or props) chanting, "Friday Family Fun Night!" until we giggle.

Rowan, waking daddy on Saturday.

Then we get into jammies and do things together as a family. Popping corn and watching a movie, playing games, making hot cocoa, snuggling, singing, or storytelling. As Rowan ages, there will be lots of things we can do together as a family. The plan is that FFF is a home activity, anchoring us to one another and home, creating a shape to our weeks that is reliable and predictable (kids thrive on routine), and bonding, bonding, bonding.

We then spend the next day doing family things as well- a family sabbath where we do not work and spend time together. We always make a nice breakfast together (Rowan helps!), and then check the available activities out there on the "Rowan's Potential Fun Stuff Calendar" (mama gets email updates and checks websites and adds them to a calendar so we do not miss cool things like story times, fairs and festivals, and the like.

Most of the stuff we do is free or low cost. Being poor it has to be. But spending money is not the point- being together in the best possible way, being present with one another is.

The poem:

Frigg's Eve, by Oberyn Kunning

All week long we toil, toil

Weaving, spinning, singing, growing

So we set the cauldron to boil

And pour it out, Love ever-flowing

When Frigg's Eve comes, one out of seven

Our work we set aside

And together, Kunnings Three, at home we do reside

Hand-in-hand and heart-to-heart

We set the lights to mark its start (light candle here)

Friday Family Fun Night! (x infinity)