Friday Family Fun Night!

The Candle and Poem in question...

So we have started this weekly ritual at my house- we call it Friday Family Fun Night. We were inspired by our Jewish friends who are lucky enough to have Shabbat every Friday evening-Saturday day. After spending many Shabbats with them, we were encouraged to come up with a personalized, Witchy equivalent.

So... what is the ritual about? The ritual marks the end of the work week (which is harder to do than you might think). It is about making time for family relationships and connections and having fun.

And what do we do? The ritual has morphed since we started (and I further expect it to morph as we go), but as of now we light a special candle that mama made (which burns all night during our time together), read aloud a poem that daddy wrote for the occasion, and then stomp around the dining room table (often with flamboyant arm gestures or props) chanting, "Friday Family Fun Night!" until we giggle.

Rowan, waking daddy on Saturday.

Then we get into jammies and do things together as a family. Popping corn and watching a movie, playing games, making hot cocoa, snuggling, singing, or storytelling. As Rowan ages, there will be lots of things we can do together as a family. The plan is that FFF is a home activity, anchoring us to one another and home, creating a shape to our weeks that is reliable and predictable (kids thrive on routine), and bonding, bonding, bonding.

We then spend the next day doing family things as well- a family sabbath where we do not work and spend time together. We always make a nice breakfast together (Rowan helps!), and then check the available activities out there on the "Rowan's Potential Fun Stuff Calendar" (mama gets email updates and checks websites and adds them to a calendar so we do not miss cool things like story times, fairs and festivals, and the like.

Most of the stuff we do is free or low cost. Being poor it has to be. But spending money is not the point- being together in the best possible way, being present with one another is.

The poem:

Frigg's Eve, by Oberyn Kunning

All week long we toil, toil

Weaving, spinning, singing, growing

So we set the cauldron to boil

And pour it out, Love ever-flowing

When Frigg's Eve comes, one out of seven

Our work we set aside

And together, Kunnings Three, at home we do reside

Hand-in-hand and heart-to-heart

We set the lights to mark its start (light candle here)

Friday Family Fun Night! (x infinity)

Ask Me Anything: Pagan "Baptism"

In this semi-regular feature on Witch Mom, I answer select questions from readers. There is always a box to the right of my blog posts if you would also like to ask a question, or click here. It could be about The Craft, parenting, pop culture, multi-religious education, homeschooling, or whatever! I cannot promise to answer each one, but I will read them!

A reader asks: "You have such interesting posts and a lot about parenting, do you know a pagan equivalent of a baptism that can be performed for a baby by a solitary practitioner? (My family is far from open minded about my faith, so having others join could be kinda hard.)"

From The Cauldron, link to article on right.

Not knowing what Path you follow, I am going to give you a generic idea that can be adapted in many ways. Hope you get some great ideas from it. Blessings to you and your new child! There are other Wiccan ideas for such a rite- many people call them "Wiccanings" or "sainings"*).  I myself am not Wiccan, so here is a basic form for you to follow, regardless of your path.

Baptism, as it is practiced by the Catholic Church, has pretty misogynistic and scary roots. Catholic doctrine says that a child is "unclean" and "impure" because it is a product of "original sin" and came from a woman's vagina (which is pretty much always unclean by their standards).

"During a Catholic baptismal ceremony, the priest still addresses the baby, 'I exorcize thee thou unclean spirit... Hear thy doom, O Devil accursed, Satan accursed!" The exorcism is euphemistically described as a 'means to remove impediments to grace resulting from the effects of original sin and the power of Satan over fallen nature.' -The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets, Barbara Walker

This liturgy comes from a belief that humans are evil and belong to the devil (which is not my fanciful "pagan" idea of Catholicism- it comes directly from St. Augustine and Tertullian). They believe every baby is born evil and babies that die in the womb go to hell. Thus, a baptism is necessary to ensure the baby's salvation. But in Church history, babies were considered so impure and dangerous to priests, that they refused to touch the infant for forty days after the birth. Wow. Just wow. That is some serious misogynistic baggage.

From a Wiccaning in MN.
(Photo from PNC Minnesota bureau)

These days, the Church talks only about declarations of name, of presenting the child to the community, and of dedication to God (the previous dogma no longer plays well in Peoria, I suppose), but these traditions have deep roots that have spiritual repercussionsand meanings today. I would no sooner baptize my son in a Catholic church than I would tell him flat out that he is inherently evil. And I have a hunch, as a pagan, that you feel the same way. So how do we, as pagans, bless and welcome a new babe? Can't baptism be reworked or reclaimed? Sure!

After all, what is baptism (looking at it through pagan eyes) if not a blessing by water? We can remove the stigma that a man (priest) can somehow bless water and (only then) make it holy. We can say it is not necessary to use "holy water" and that salvation is a silly idea. We can proudly proclaim that all water is holy and a miracle. We can use it, as well as other elements to bless our newborn.

Water is an important element (but only one of five). I would say a blessing rite that I would do for a pagan child would include a blessing by all the elements.

Here is a simple proposal that you could embellish as you please:

1. Gather tokens of each of the five elements- earth, air, fire, and water. Be creative about what you gather- perhaps for earth you could get a leaf from the tree under which you planed your child's placenta. Or a bit of sand or soil from a particularly sacred spot for you or your family. Graveyard dirt form a beloved ancestor, perhaps.

The Chalice Well

For water, there are so many sacred springs and wells- I myself have a bottle of water from the Chalice Well at Glastonbury Tor that I use sparingly for such occasions. Or perhaps taking waters from a meaningful river, lake or creek, or an ocean that means something to your family.

For fire, you could obviously use an oil lamp or a candle. Or light a cauldron ablaze and do the rite in the out of doors. When my son was born, I created a birth altar that had, among other things, a very large green pillar candle on it. I burn it now at each of his birthday celebration as well. It should last until he has moved out!

For air, a feather or wing of a bird or insect to act as a fan would be lovely. Pick something that is again, meaningful. I have ties to owls, crows, parrots, and butterflies.

For the fifth element (aether or spirit), is known to imbue everything, especially through vibration- so a lovely song that speaks to the aim of your ritual would do nicely. Another option is a vibrant work of art, displayed. If you have a talent for art or music, or someone in your family does, perhaps an original work would be especially meaningful. The art could be displayed in a nursery or could be sung to your child long after the rite as a lullaby.

2. Create liturgy. You may wish to create language around how each element is blessing the child. Air can bestow clarity, earth can provide grounding, water can provide insights through dreams, fire can provide a creative spark, for example. Whatever gifts you wish the elements to provide is all you need to say, or be as fancy as you like! Are there gods that will be invoked and present? What do you want to say to them? How will you present your child to them?

Personally, I would name the child at the rite for all present to hear (sometimes that is just you and your gods) and then present them to crowd and the gods of your choosing. Proceed to then bless the child with all five elements. Perhaps if a song is chosen to represent aether, it could play throughout the rite, as the rite will not take long.


One suggestion I have is to adapt the Witchcraft tradition called the "fivefold kiss" which blesses a body at rituals, including ones like handfastings.

The words that accompany each kiss are as follows (there are other versions in Gardnerianism and Alexandrianism):

Blessed be thy feet that have walked this Path
Blessed be thy knees that kneel at the sacred altar
Blessed be thy sex which gives and receives pleasure
Blessed be thy breasts formed in strength and beauty
Blessed be thy lips that shall utter the Sacred Names.
                   
At each line, the place on the body is kissed/annointed/blessed. Riffing off of the five fold kiss idea, you could anoint these areas with the four elemental symbols as well as (or instead of) kiss. Or come up with your own novel way of blessing the child with the elements.

3. Once you have assembled your materials, decide who will be in attendance and/or participating. If you could have one other person there, it would be helpful- as they could hold the child as you administer the blessings. If it is you and only you with the child, having them in a bassinette or car seat would do nicely as well. This step includes any deities that you may want to invoke and be present at the ritual. While you do not need fancy statuary, a candle lit at the time their name is said will help bring their attention to the rite.

4. Create your script and practice. When does the music start? Do you have liturgy, or are you being impromptu? Is more than one person participating in the rite? Who does what? Is there a spot for a god to "speak"? I always suggest at least one "run through" before the actual rite, to make sure everyone is on the same page and it makes the transitions smoother.

5. Do the rite when the child is present and awake.

Blessings to you and your family. I hope this helps you.

---

*I personally do not like the term saining as applied to this ritual, as it implies the child is impure as well. Saining is a term that refers to the ritual cleansing of a space or person, usually pre-ritual. Since I do not buy into the doctrine of sin or original sin, I find cleansing a newborn to be unnecessary at best and offensive at worst.

Thinking About My Son's Education

I am currently compiling notes to create a year-long cyclical curriculum for my son. It is for his religious and mundane education- The best way to describe the spiritual aspects of it are "multi-religious, as seen through a witchy filter". As I learn about other religions and their traditions in seminary and out in the world, I am noting what rituals and traditions ring true for me and what I would like to incorporate into our lives (in addition to the wheel of the year and esbats).

One Jewish tradition I value and would like to start in our home is a Witchy version of Shabbat. Every Friday evening, a ritual to declare no more work for a full day! Friday evening would start with a ritual to start the experience and a good family meal. Then quality time with the family- reading stories, playing games, and good old fashioned conversation. Saturday would be a special time meant to be spent with family and friends- visiting, playing, going to places together (like the zoo or other fun educational places), and again- lovely meals. While my Witchy theological reasons would be different than a Jewish person's for observing a special weekly holiday like this, I feel that the tradition is easily adapted to both a religious Witch's outlook or even a secular one.

I have been thinking that when Rowan is old enough, we will work for the poor on Thanksgiving, and have our harvest feast of gratitude on the similar Witchy holiday, Mabon. Having an annual ritual of volunteering for those less fortunate is something that I would love him to remember and learn the value of.

Do you celebrate holidays from multiple cultures or religions? What caused that situation? How do you tech your kids about different faiths and ideas that may not be your own?

Book Review: Parenting With Spirit by Jane Bartlett

This is a lovely book, written from a non-demoninational perspective (while the author uses the term "God", she also interchanges it with "Spirit" and "sacred"). She truly has managed to write a book about sharing the sacred with children that embraces so many faiths- regardless of whether they are part of an organized religion or not. She talks of how religion as an organized force is in decline in most western countries, although more and more people are identifying loosely as "spiritual":

We live in changing times, but so far this spiritual renaissance has largely failed to nurture families. It concerns itself only with the needs of grown-ups; it's individualistic and self-orientated. You will find a wealth of personal development opportunities for adults to discover their "inner child", but few where they can be with their outer child, too!

This gentle book has great practical tips on creating rituals and traditions in your family to anchor a shared spirituality with your children. There is plenty here for people of all faiths to latch onto, including pagans and polytheists. Prayers, rituals, mealtimes, family meetings, story time, playtime, animal care and more- all can reflect a deeper understanding of the sacred to share with children.

For example, on the section for storytime, she shares that she has created a specific weekly ritual on Friday evenings called "Hot Chocolate Night". She makes hot chocolate with her kids, then they all gather around with plenty of shawls, blankets, and pillows to get snuggly. She has picked out stories in advance that she wants to read- sacred stories that teach things she values to her kids. They don't have to be from religious texts- heck, The Lorax is a sacred text to me!

She has some other tips on making plain old story time sacred time:

• Light a large candle to mark the beginning and blow it out to mark the end of story time. 
• Similarly, you could instead use a chime or musical instrument to do the same.
• Use puppets
• Create a basket of props specific to the story, pulling them out one by one in sequence
• Don't relegate story time to a "lull the child to sleep" time. Make it a ritual each week or around seasonal holidays

I particularly enjoyed the chapter on "Creating Sacred Space In Your Home" In it, this Christian author talks about building a family altar and suggests honoring the family's beloved dead (as well as nature) there!

If you are looking for some practical tips on ritualizing your family life and creating traditions, this book is quite handy!

---

Formal Rating:

Title: Parenting With Spirit
Author: Jane Bartlett
Publisher: Marlow and Company
Price: $14.95 USD 
ISBN: 1-56924-405-7

Topics Covered: Parenting, Religion, Spirituality, Ritual, Prayer

Target Audience: Families seeking to add a spiritual aspect into their daily family lives.
 
Witch Mom Rating: Two and a Half Hats

Great primer for people starting to create family rituals and traditions and looking for some tips.
Advanced ritualists may find this too basic for their needs.

Pagan Playdate's Lughnasadh!

So we had our wonderful children's Lughnasadh and I thought that I would share what we did, since several readers asked how to plan a sabbat with kids in mind. Some things I planned on worked, others didn't, some I planned on we abandoned in the moment for a better situationalist option. We had kids there ranging in age from four months old to 5 years old, for a total of 6 kids. The ones that could not walk or sit up well on their own were held by their parents or sat in special baby chairs at times. This was our first sabbat together, and I learned a lot in the moment to make the next one better.

As High Priestess, I arrived early to prep the space. I set up a working altar with some safe tools (I normally use my  very sharp athame, but also have a blunt one made of jet, which was used today). Then we put a small elemental (earth, air, fire, water) representation in each direction (a bowl of water for the west, a bowl of dirt for the north, a blob of play-doh (how's that for kid-friendly improvisation when you cannot find an incense burner?) holding a stick of smoking incense for the east, and a lit candle for the south. Charmingly, one of the kids placed a bowl of goldfish crackers in the west as well.

Getting mama love beforehand

I had created an outline in advance of what I wanted to do with the kids, and had also made a double batch of bread dough that morning, so that it had risen properly before they kids arrived and we needed to use it. I brought along prepped "add ins" for the breads- cinnamon/sugar and plumped raisins for the kids, chopped onions and cheddar cheese chunks for an adult loaf.

When everyone arrived, we went over the ritual outline to get everyone on the same page: We then assigned/asked kids to represent each quarter so that they could shout out the name of the element that they represented when it came time to cast circle. We had the oldest child be fire with the help of a parent, since that was the more dangerous element and the smaller children got to be water and earth and air, with the help of their parents or me (in the north).

Getting the kids to pay attention during the orientation was kind of like herding cats - some had just arrived, others had been there for 30 minutes already and were running around like the wild things that they are. I tried to get them to focus by asking direct questions to them, starting with their name: "Alden, would you like to be the north?" etc.

Orin,  as the element of fire.

As the HP (me!) cast circle, we involved the kids. As we called each direction, I would point at the child(ren) in a quarter and they would call out their element. I pointed my athame in the north and pointed to the north and the kids and adults in that quarter would shout, "Earth!" and I would nod and say "Yes! By the earth that is her vital body!"- then I would continue casting the circle including each of the four quarters- pointing at each element child to let them have their part. Then I did above, below and center myself (which is Feri thing, not all traditions (including those represented) do that). I then asked the kids to help me form and push the magic circle out beyond us, to encompass the entire house and yard- as we were going to be doing things in several rooms and the back yard that day. "Okay, everyone- now use your breath to blow the circle outward- like a giant balloon so that it is not just in this room, but also the kitchen and the backyard!" The kids were really into that, and the adults helped.

Circle casting

After we had cast circle, we heard a story about the wheel of the year, and where we were on that wheel (Lughnasadh). We talked about how we had made goals for ourselves at Samhain last year (which for my non-witch readers is witches new year- many people know it as the secular holiday of Halloween) and asked if people had made their goals come true this year- it is now the first harvest, and goals should start to see some fruition. The adults had plenty to say at this part of the ritual, the kids? Not so much. "Um, I had a goal of getting more toys?" asked one hopefully. So I played along. "And did you meet your goals? Did you get more toys?" "Oh, yes." he replied earnestly. Cute!

So I switched gears. We talked about how the wheat and how the god gets cut down this time of year, which is why we were making bread gods. I got the kids excited: "Everybody gets to play with the dough and make their own bread god! And when they are done- we get to EAT THEM!" With the kids sufficiently excited, we headed to the kitchen.

I handed out blobs of dough to the kids- some in high chairs, still others at kid sized tables. They started making their creations, some with the help of a parent. We added raisins and cinnamon sugar to the kids breads and put them in the oven just as the adult loaf (with onions and cheddar) was coming out of the oven. Can I just say, the place smelled wonderful?!

I also need to tell you that the bread god shown on the right is also a robot. Just so you know. Cuz that's important. Oddly enough, he also has a goldfish cracker in the center. I don't know why that was important, but it was.

We then headed outside into the sunshine to play games. Lugh was exceptional at games. I had planned to play hug tag and do relay races, but the kids had so much pent up energy that they immediately made up their own games as soon as we were outside.  I told the adults that if the action lagged, we could step in with structured activities. But it didn't seem necessary, and we never got to play those games I had planned. Oh well! Another day! The lesson here for the adults? Never underestimate the power of children to invent their own fun.

While the kids ran around and played, the adults communed and had some fun feasting on the bread, leftover raisins, and banana bread. Eventually, we spread a blanket on the grass and exchanged songs that we sing to our kids. We were all wound down at that point, so I forwent the idea of the kids crazily running in a circle chanting a simple chant to raise a cone of power. At that point, I asked our two oldest kids to help me devoke and bring down the circle. I asked them to see the circle on the periphery of the yard, and on the count of three, we were gonna "pop the balloon we made". They were great at it, and the circle came down!

I captured some other photos that I would like to share:

Avery, messy with plum

Gavin!

The Kunning family

Rowan explores the grass

Things that I would do differently for next sabbat:
1. Storytime needs to be more engaging. We lost focus at some of these times, when they were supposed to act as a bridge to the next activity. We are thinking about using puppets next time.

2.  We should start teaching our kids songs and dances now, so that we can engage them to join in easily. While four of our regular kids are pre-verbal, two can dance and clap to a remembered song at this point. I think having common touchpoints in the ritual may anchor and ground the ritual, making it easier for kids to follow.

3. We have some logistics to work out about timing and such. We all arrived very staggered, making the start time later than intended, thereby making the day longer than intended for some of the kids. This made several of the kids lose their naptimes (which at least in my case, led to a meltdown at the end of the day). This demonstrates that planning (good, bad or a lack of it) has a very real-world effect on our kids!

We all talked toward the end of the ritual about how we can get more organized as a group- calendars, a ning group, and much more. It's quite exciting to see us coming together for the kids.

Ideas for Lughnasadh?

I was just talking to my partner about what we should do with Rowan for the upcoming sabbat. When our son, Rowan, was born we made a commitment to observe all the sabbats with him from the very start. We want him to have fondly remembered rituals and holidays from childhood.

But observing sabbats with a child under one is difficult. What to do? We've had decent rituals (albeit simple ones) with him thus far, but his particular age and ability level is getting harder and harder to accomodate.

His first sabbat was Imbolc, and he was tiny. We introduced him to Nimue, one of the gods of the Feri pantheon- (without getting too in depth and giving you a Feri 101, Nimue a child god who has power of a god in the hands of a six year old. She's impulsive, prone to fits of pique, and is fiercely protective of her children.) When we did Imbolc with Rowan, we were parents for a mere few weeks. We were tired and the baby was small and less active than he is now. It was a simple introduction, in front of her altar in our temple.

Oestara was lovely- we had Feri guests and together we held a ritual specifically for baby Rowan- he was blessed by each person there and then introduced to our 7 directional Feri guardians. He got hungry during the ritual and mom and baby had to sit at one point and get our boob on in circle, but the ritual was lovely nonetheless.

Beltaine we went up to Wolf Creek Radical Faerie Sanctuary in Oregon and did their Walpurgisnacht bonfire, Maypole dance, and introduced Rowan to the Sacred Land where he was conceived (the previous Beltaine).

Midsummer was a simple feast and introducing him to bits of fruit.

And now we are coming up on Lughnasadh, when Rowan will be 6 months old- a wiggly, squiggly 6 month old who won't hold still or keep quiet, nor will he be able to participate like a toddler could in dancing or as a preschooler could in crafts. So what do we with a child do at this age?

A wonderful go-to guide for slightly older children is Circle Round, written by three priestesses in the Reclaiming trad. I have a copy of this book and cannot recommend it enough. When Rowan gets older it will be a great resource for us! In the meantime, I intend on documenting what does and doesn't work with a child his age as we go along.

If anyone has age-appropriate activities you'd like to share, I'd be much obliged. Feel free to leave comments here on the blog- and we'll get a discussion started!

PantheaCon Wrap Up

This is from my previous, now defunct blog.
Original post date: Tuesday, February 16, 2010

So O’bee, Rowan, and I spent an extended weekend at PantheaCon, the largest pagan conference in the US. We hosted a Feri hospitality suite that had a couple events, attended workshops and rituals, and introduced Rowan to the larger pagan and Feri community.

Many thought that we were nuts bringing a newborn (and me) to the Con so soon after birth. I am still recovering, and Ro needs to be fed at least every 2 hours. But I didn’t think it was that big of a deal- after all, at home, we have to juggle the parrots’ needs with the baby’s- and that prioritization would not be necessary in the hotel. We only had to care for the baby, and we had help with the suite events we hosted. When he was sleeping, we could attend workshops and such with him in tow. When he was hungry or fussy, we had baby time in the room. It went surprisingly well.

I attended much fewer workshops and events at this ‘Con than any of the previous ones that I went to, but that did not bother me in the slightest. There is a level of sacrifice (and here I must note that this word’s original meaning is “to make sacred”) that comes with being a parent, and oddly enough, it is not one that I resent (at least not this weekend, anyway!). Before Ro was here, I may have guessed that I would be slightly resentful or at least wistful to be “missing out”. But to be honest, I was getting something waaaay better staying in with my baby.

O’bee kept checking in with me about going to things and switching off parent duties. We did that really well. But often, I was just fine staying in the room with Ro and letting him go off and do something at the ‘Con. The first day, we arrived in time for the 1:30 programming, but I wanted to get everything settled in the room (and get the limited edition books from Harpy Press as soon as they were available). So O’bee went to Morpheus’ workshop while I attended to Ro and did the vendor room with Ro in tow.

I did not get to an event until 9 pm that evening- The Red God Revel (an ecstatic Feri ritual). O’bee saw me off, then went back up to the room with Ro while mama got some woo time. It felt so good to dance the whole thing! The God was present and palpable, and I was lost on a wave as I danced around with a few hundred others.

On Saturday, I went to a pagan parenting panel (with Ro in tow) and was delighted to meet others in my situation. It became clear that more and more parents are bringing their kids to P’Con and raising them in different pagan/pan/polythestic/magick traditions. There are people to meet up and share ideas with right in my backyard! The panel talked about issues that are brought up being a religious minority (esp. one that is demonized), teaching sex positivity to our kids and the consequences of that (CPS is often called if kids know the names of genitalia or talk to other kids about sex or masturbation, for example), teaching kids your religion or no, etc etc. O’bee joined me towards the end of the panel and we headed up to the Pagan Alliance suite where they had said they were holding a kid-friendly space for parents and their spawn to meet and get some lunch. We met some other parents we didn’t know before who also live in Oakland, and will be getting together sometime soon! (editors note: I lost the contact of one couple that I really wanted to meet up with and sadly have been unable to connect with them since!)

I was going to attend another Feri workshop after that (Anaar’s Mana and the Witch’s Cone of Power), but Ro decided to fuss a bit, and I decided rather than stress him out by testing the limits, I would leave before it started. He was ready for more boobie, so upstairs we went.

That was the last thing I did publicly on Saturday- I was quite content to camp out in the room with Ro and watch Bill Maher on HBO.

Sunday, I made sure I fed Ro early so that I could get to a 9 AM workshop on public service in the pagan community, a panel featuring Macha Nightmare, Ivo Dominguez Jr., and Sam Webster. I was glad that I went- I promoted my elder project, PEARL, and got a few good volunteer leads and also connected with a few people that will help further the project as well.

That night, I went to the Feri Tent Revival with O’bee and Ro. He breastfed as we sat on the periphery and did quite well. One thing Ro does when he is startled is that his arm flies up (even though he stays asleep)- and when people shouted “blessed be!” and “halle-fucking-lujah!” at the revival he did this more than once. It looked like he was testifying! LOL

We did try and push doing two things in a row- after the tent revival, we tried to do the “Yes, They Are! The Queerest of the Gods” ritual play. We got through about half when I personally had to leave. Ro would have made it through- he had access to boobie and was covered so the lights did not bother him. But Mama was sore. I am still in recovery, and my perineum, which is stitched up and cut by how fast Ro came out, was aching after last night’s dancing and that days walking. I was done.

The last thing that I attended was a dream workshop with Anne Hill, and I took notes. She approached the workshop not only for dream analysis for yourself, but also as a tool for clergy to help their congregants. Very informative and helpful!

We saw so many Feri folk who were so happy to meet Rowan after getting the play-by-play his whole pregnancy. Many of these witches did spells and prayer to help us with problems in the pregnancy and with the birth. I am so grateful to them for their care and concern and effort. it was wonderful to be a part of a larger community that embraced my son even before he arrived.

We headed back north and stopped by DRGN’s for an hour or so for his birthday celebration before picking up the parrots and heading home.

I learned more about my son over the weekend. He knows how to ask for what he wants- he does this through fussing noises, looking toward me, sending mental images to me, and finally (if I am being dense or slow), crying. He is not quick to cry, but it is his last line of defense.

He is REALLY upset when someone else is in control of his body. He hates being changed, whether it is clothes or diaper. He also does not like abrupt position changes. I suspected that his first bath was going to lead to tears, and it did (that happened today, our first day back from the ‘Con, since his umbilical cord had fallen off). Boy, was he upset about bathing. I think this indicates a spirited independent child who is going to be quite the handful!

We were worried because the day before the ‘Con and the first day of the ‘Con Ro had not pooped. I called my midwife panicking, because according to WIC, he should be pooping 4 times a day! I want him to thrive and put on weight. Was he not getting enough? Was he constipated or worse? We quickly ruled out constipation (or worse), as he would probably be miserable and crying. Judi (the MW) asked me to measure my breastmilk to make sure I was making enough. I recently bought a tincture to help me make more if I needed to. She reassured me and said that he may be one of those babies that poops less. As long as he was getting 2 oz + at this stage, he was probably fine. We would know for sure when he was weighed again.

Thank the gods that the next day, he pooped. And when it arrived, it really arrived! The first poopy diaper was like 3 poops in one. Then he pooped twice more that day. Since then, he isn’t up to 4 per day, more like 3, but I am less worried. I think he is starting to normalize.