Happy Wolf Moon (or, a Love Letter to My Son)

Dear Rowan,

I wrote this the day of the Wolf Moon of 2013. That moon hung low, yellow, and pendulous in the sky this morning, pre-dawn as you and I drove your father to work. We sang, "Look up, it's the moon!" to you in the back seat. Did you know that we sing every day now because of you?

Yesterday, we celebrated your birthday and your grandparents from both sides trekked to see you and spoil you rotten. You had kids over to play "Bozo buckets", pin the tail on the donkey, and to bust a piñata. You got gifts and affection and attention galore. I made a pink dragon cake for you and added to my birthday playlist on my iPod. I brought out the felt banner that I made for your first birthday, and the green pillar candle we have had since your birth altar that we now burn on your birthdays. I had everyone sign your special book that we have had since your baby shower.

It was three years ago on the Wolf Moon that I labored with you. That day was an adventure and uncharted territory for me, but it was nothing compared to the adventure we are having together now. Motherhood is amazing and I am so lucky to have you in my life. You make me laugh and smile every day and I am so grateful for that. We learn and share, grow and change- together. You are my favorite person and I love you so much.

You were born in the San Francisco Bay Area and we currently live in Columbus Ohio. We'll probably live here five or so more years. We moved here for you- a sacrifice, yes. I use the word not to martyr myself, but in the original meaning of the word- "to make sacred". As parents, we opt to make decisions that we would not make if we were single and childless. And we do it with joy, freely and lovingly. We moved to Ohio because needed a cheap place that was closer to extended family and a support network (so we could get back on our feet financially while still giving you a childhood worth nostalgia- one with playing outdoors, music lessons, and camping vacations).

Right now, daddy is working to get back to college, and mama is working on finishing her grad degree, too. Once we have those pieces of paper, we will have better skills to support our family the way we want to- flexible schedules (so we can spend oodles of time with you!) and decent wages for our work (so we can live somewhere nice with you and give you experiences worth having).

Here in Columbus, we have the ability to pay off student loans and live cheaply (as students with a kid are wont to do) for a while. We don't plan to be here forever, but while we are here, I get to show you wonders like snow forts and lightning bugs. We have a great zoo, an amazing library, and cool science museum for kids here. I am unschooling/homeschooling by choice-  as the different child of weird parents, I want you to live as free from judgment and scorn as possible. As your main teacher, I set a few goals, but you choose most of where and how we learn. Here in the midwest, you get to experience not-so-subtle seasons as the Wheel of the Year turns and we teach you about nature, the sabbats, and the world around you.

I cannot wait for the next phase of our family's evolution- back west, but to a new city. In the meantime, I am enjoying every minute of your preschool and early elementary years here in the Capitol City. We are in the right place for this time.

I love you so much.

Love, Your mama.