Flow, Fate, and Will (for me, personally)

Fate, by Alphonse Mucha

So now that I have tackled the fictions of Will, and defined it as Fate or Flow- what is this Witch doing to follow it? After all, that is what a Witch does- we make manifesting things look easy because we are following Flow and letting it do most of the work. That is not to say that this work is easy. Surrender of ego is never easy. Which is why Witches often have a sitting practice and perform alchemy on themselves all the time.

And its easy to mistake Will/Fate for ego/desire. People do it all the time. A Witch listens very closely, internally and externally, to discern which is which. It takes practice (and messing up a lot) to be able to tell the difference.

Columbus, Ohio was never on my radar. I am still surprised and appalled that I am here on some days. It was never a first choice. Don't get me wrong, Columbus-ians! It is a lovely city with lots of great things to offer. I am delighted when I discover a new one. But my body thrums with delight when on the coasts. I miss the ocean, the mountains, and the forests. I know that I shall return to the coast eventually. Flow will lead me there, I know it. I have seen it. I keep asking to see if this is my desire/ego or if this is something that we should actually do. I will keep asking as I plan toward that goal.

by Jessica Hagy.

I know now, especially in retrospect, that I was meant to be here for a while, even though ego is still pouting about being in Columbus (or the Midwest at all). Fate drew me here for several reasons. And because I have followed Fate, certain opportunities continue to open for me and life is much easier than it was in California. I have been rewarded with opportunities and more ease in my efforts.

Why am I here?

1. Space and ease while accomplishing my Will.
Columbus is simply easier to make things happen- finances, networking, opportunities- I can afford a spacious place for half what we paid in California in a better neighborhood. Childcare is cheaper. I have made friends that help me when I need it. I have a support network for my family. All this makes it possible to go to grad school, have my partner finish school, and still spend time with Rowan and be a tight-knit family.

2. Opportunities.
We found our (below market rent) home through connections.
Our child care situation was just as easy to establish.
Boline is growing and thriving here. (I went from simply making things for me and my family and friends, to having on online store, being in retail locations, doing two different farmer's markets each month, and leading workshops- all in one year.)
I found the PERFECT school for me to attend. It just so happens to be the most reputable TCM school in the entire midwest- and it's 10 minutes from my house.
My partner is finally going back to school, because we could afford to get him out of student loan default here. He starts in January.

3. Connections.
I randomly meet someone here, only to have them become an important connection. A random attendee at one of our movie nights now runs a community garden, for example. She contacted me to ask if they could grow medicinal herbs for Boline. I in turn asked if they had a hoop house so I could overwinter my container plants. Super win-win for both entities.
I found an apprentice (even though I was in no way looking for one). He moved here because Flow brought him here, too. Pretty neat.
The woman I met online before we came to Columbus (who ran a neat art group), became the neighbor who got us a great housing deal. When we lost power last summer, we spent our days on the porch, grilling what was next thawing in our freezers. We watched the kids play outside and our burdens were made so much easier having each other. She is also an awesome child care giver and Rowan goes over there several times a week. I have never had a better neighbor situation.

All of this ease and energetic spaciousness tells me I am following the River. I can let go and let it carry me for a while.

So what is my Will/Fate, as best as I can see for now?

To heal people. To raise an amazing child (who asked to be here) to be an amazing Witch. Allow the called to find me so that I can teach them to be Witches in service of Fate, too. These are the things that I have been called to do. So how do I make these things happen?

My goals for Columbus:
1. Do excellently in school and learn as much as possible to become an excellent healer. Pass my national boards and get licensed for OH and OR before I move.

2. Teach Rowan to read, count to 1000, add, subtract, and multiply before we leave. Continue his Witchy education every week as well. Spend lots of loving, quality time with him.

3. Build and streamline Boline Apothecary so that when I move it, it is easy to start up in OR. Continue my herbal education and connections, making things better for people in C'bus. Keep learning and help people while I am here.

4. Teach my apprentice to the best of my ability and get him to a point where we can assess whether he should continue training (and move to OR with us) or move on.

Everything else is gravy! So in manifesting my Will, I need to keep these 4 things in mind. I need to ensure I have enough life space to make these things happen, make sure that I am feeding these goals with words and deeds in my daily life. Making every day choices that reinforce what my goals are.

I often do this kind of assessment several times a year, doing divination to ensure it's not just ego talking. How do you follow your Fate?

Being in Oakland

Lake Merritt

After the Symposium, I got three whole days to try and see the people who are important to me, eat amazing food, walk my old neighborhood haunts, and be immersed in Bay Area culture, which is profoundly different than Columbus culture.

Friday was my first completely at-leisure day. I was dropped off in Temescal, one of my old neighborhoods (pre-gentrification- there was no tapas bar when I lived there, I'll tell you that!) and went to Peet's to get some Russian Caravan tea to take home and then to Sagrada.

How to describe this store? It is an interfaith store selling books, music, statuary, and other things for so many different faiths and beliefs. I almost bought a gorgeous stained glass mezuzah for our doorway* but instead opted for a reclaimed wood redwood shrine for a statue (to hang on the wall), a recycled glass lightcatcher with a black crescent moon and star from El Salvador, and a book for Rowan (Starhawk's The Last Wild Witch).

At Dia de los Muertos in Fruitvale.

I then BARTed to Fruitvale and had breakfast with a long-time friend. We have known one another for at least a decade, and knew each other before we are who we are today. We have both changed in such amazing and positive ways and a lot of the ways that we have changed have surprise people, even ourselves. We laughed and caught up and shared lives for almost three hours at an amazing taqueria that makes their own tortillas and salsa, and is awesometastically delicious.

After that, I walked around the Bay. Fruitvale, which hosts the best Dia de los Muertos celebration in the Bay. Piedmont, which is super tony now- even more than it was when I lived here. I ended up going to a  favorite patisserie (I have yet to find one in Columbus that is even close in quality) and then a Himalayan import outlet and getting a few things there for myself and as gifts for folks back home.

I was picked up by my Witch mama and we went to Pacific East mall in El Cerrito. I wanted to get Rowan My Neighbor Totoro schwag, since it is his favorite movie. I love it too- and we borrowed it form the libary and now he talks about it constantly. Sadly, it is almost always checked out and he hasn't seen it again (Netflix streaming, you fail me here!). So this mall was the perfect place to go. I got a copy of the movie, plus a Totoro backpack and my Witch mama got Rowan a stuffed Catbus with a tiny Totoro inside. We then had a delicious hot pot meal with lamb, fish balls, veggies, and beef in our spicy delicious broth.

Saturday, I headed into San Francisco to breakfast with yet another beloved friend at a Mexican seafood place. I had glorious raw oysters to begin, then garlic prawns and fried tilapia in an amazing garlic sauce. I had glorious company and I am excited that this beautiful person is moving to Pittsburgh in a couple years and will only be three hours away! Whee!

I then travelled to the Richmond, to spend the rest of the day and evening with beloved friends that my partner and I met in our midwifery birth class. This class changed our lives in so many ways- we have these fantastic friends (who almost moved to Columbus with us, but because of the horrible oppressive laws in Ohio regarding same-sex second parent adoptions, they are moving to Pittsburgh instead.), one of our friends decided to become a midwife, and my son has a best friend (their daughter, born a week after Rowan).

We went to Ocean Beach together (A delight! I was not expecting to see the ocean this trip but I miss it so much so I am glad we did), dined together, and played together. I had not seen their daughter in 7 months (they visited Ohio over Hannukah last year and we went to see them) and she is a hoot!

I spent the night at their place and in the morning hoofed it to transit so that I could attend First Unitarian Church of Oakland's services. After seeing some folks there that I love and participating in worship, I went to Chaos Cabaret, a Radical Faerie sanctuary in north Oakland.

They had agreed to let me host a tea there and it was delightful to once again be immersed in Faedom. Queens singing at the top of their lungs while cooking lunch and making jokes. The smell of sage mixed with marijuana. The delight in everything sacred and shiny. We had tea and chatted, and then it was time for me to meet my ex-wife for sushi.

My ex and I were together for 10 years and are still friends. We Skype regularly and when I lived in the Bay we would have dinners together. She has agreed to teach Rowan math and science (she's a biologist) and sends him presents. It was fantastic to see her- but after all this socializing and "being on" for days at a time, I was sleepy. After twoish hours of catching up, I was ready for bed.

I am now getting ready to head for the airport to fly back home, to Columbus. Columbus is now home, and Oakland is only my hometown. That seems weird but right. I am so exited to see my partner and our son.

---

*I have a car mezuzah which has the traditional Jewish prayer on it, as well as some conjure (done by me) on that slip of paper as well. It is a charm of protection that packs a double wallop!

Life in Columbus, An Update

Life is settling in nicely here in Columbus. My Witch Mama told me that she could see moving here was following the flow and I agreed with her then and even more so now. My life is full of possibilities and promise here and the living is so much easier than in my beloved Bay Area.

In fact, I have been surprised to see other die-hard Bay Area folks moving or contemplating moving to unexpected places lately. I think we may see a mass exodus- one that I had no idea that I was a part of!

My partner was blessed with a transfer from his previous job in Appalachia to a facility here (he works taking care of seniors- this time with folks with Alzheimer's related dementia). So that stabilized our income a bit while we transitioned. But it is not enough to live on in the long term. So I have been hustling to make money while also trying to start a business (Boline). I have been selling things on Amazon and Ebay, and freelancing for some folks that I worked for back in California.

Rowan plays with a baby rhino sculpture at the Zoo.

I spend my days with Rowan, of course. Once a week we go to the library and adjoining playground and he is learning so much. We also go to the Zoo or COSI (where we were blessed to be given memberships for Rowan's birthday!) about every two weeks. The librarians and new friends are astounded at his age because of how verbal and obviously smart he is. Yes, I am bragging, but this mama is proud! My goals for his learning are that by the end of this year, he will not only know his alphabet but the sounds that each letter makes, he will be able to count to twenty, and he will be able to say his address and mama's name and phone number. I also am trying to model how to answer the question, "why?". So far he just repeats his original statement or just says "because". I am hoping to model reasoning to him so he can start putting his motives to words soon.

I also have fallen in with a few groups- The Helping Hands Community Garden, which raises food for the local food bank; Art Party Columbus, which is a social and event organizing group of artists. (They put on shows and events, have monthly social gatherings, and are working to increase the profile of local artists here in Columbus.); and Queer Behavior, a group of queer activists and artists who are working to make all kinds of events happen here in Columbus. Queer Yoga, Queer Cinema Nights, and my very own Crafternoons are but a few.

My very first table for Boline!

I also have made fast friends with our wonderful neighbors. We have a weekly potluck dinner and our kids play together regularly. And guess what?! Pagan Playdate is starting up THIS FRIDAY! I am very excited to meet other Witches. Pagans, and their kids. We plan on doing playdates as well as kids' sabbats.

My homestead is gearing up- I have plants sprouting indoors and we will be building raised beds and a brick oven from reclaimed materials soon. We have chickens that won't live here, but at a friend's and we will share in the chicken-y goodness by visiting often and sharing expenses and eggs. I will be building an herb spiral in the front yard and also using the front and back porches to grow things. I have created a fund that I am asking people to chip into- so we can afford beekeeping equipment. This will allow me to use honey and beeswax that I am 100% sure of the source and quality.

I am in the running for not one but TWO positions at Unitarian Universalist churches. I interviewed for a Summer Sunday School position this past Friday in Columbus and I am waiting to tell the Director there whether or not I can accept the position. I didn't say yes right away, because I am waiting to see if there is a *permanent* position at another church just north of Columbus. This second position would ease me into Religious Education (RE) work, help pay for credentialing, and is in admin, which is easy work for me and I can do much of it from home and stay with Rowan. But there are lots of possibilities with this second position to get my foot in the door of an RE position!

Calendula sprouting in the window,
on the land spirits altar.

My semester at Starr King is more than half over, and I am looking forward to finishing and having more free time in the summer. This semester I took a world religions class and did a class of my own making, writing RE and social justice curricula. Next semester, I will be volunteering at that second church I mentioned doing tasks a Director of Religious Education would do fo school credit and continue writing my curricula. All self directed work- woot!

Boline is shaping up too. I have about 5 more remedies in the works for the next couple weeks and managed to get some in the store already. I am making a natural anti-biotic/anti-microbial salve, a body/baby powder, some insect repellent, some first aid cream, and some face cleanser. I also hope to make a mouth wash soon. I have a logo prototype from the artist that I am working with, and I am excited to create real labels, business cards and the like once it is finished.

So things are shaping up to be great here. The move was exactly what we needed, I think. I still miss my  friends and kin in the Bay Area and I wish there was more dim sum, sushi, and artisanal bread in the supermarkets here. But I will find what I need and much much more.

Welcome Home!

Plant Spirit Ally

When you read this post, I will be in my new home, likely unpacking and getting settled in. I am terribly excited to finally start the new life I have dreamed of in Ohio. I have been in limbo for almost 6 months after my cross-country move from Oakland, California- setting down temporarily in Appalachian Ohio with my partner's relatives until we found the right place in Columbus. While I met some wonderful people and did some fun things (mainly through the UU church in Marietta), I am excited for this new chapter of urban homesteading, art making, and settling down into homeschooling.

And find our dream we did! While we had a tall order of what we sought in a place, this place satisfies all of them, albiet differently than we expected (magick manifestation often works that way- you get what you seek, but not as your limited brain thinks to ask for them). We have awesome neighbors who are artists, activists, and organizers- so we have lots in common. They also have small children, and that is great for Rowan.

In our new place, Rowan will be growing up. He will be getting his own room, his own bed, and a pet fishy! He will start potty learning, going on weekly trips to the library, the zoo, and the community garden (as well as working in our yard). He will start homeschooling in earnest.

We will be rebuilding our temple and finding other traditional Witches to circle with. We have friends in our small tradition in Tennessee and West Virginia, but my partner and I are the only initiates in Ohio. There are other traditional Witches in the area, and perhaps some of them have things in common with us (we are not Wiccan). I am hoping to meet them as well as folks from the ADF (Columbus has a large druid population and the local ADF grove hosts public sabbats).

Mine and Yours!

I will be starting up a new version of my parrot business (I work with parrots, corvids, and other birds professionally).

I will be developing our Etsy store and local business for Boline. I plan on making remedies with the herbs and mushrooms and bees I raise. I have 4 types of medicinal mushrooms coming and will be making herbal syrups, herbal honeys, sachets, tinctures, balms, salves, and lotions. Our magickal offerings will be amulets, charms, candle spells, talismans, divination, and poppets.

We will be doing mostly custom work, based on the needs of our clients- although I will offer some basic spells like blessings, protection, love, and abundance spells. These are all done according to the principles of our Craft: following lunar cycles and other portents, using our Contacts for reinforcement of the work, following the principles that make our tradition so unique (being an American Craft tradition, we have influences form all the populations that are on this continent- indigenous and immigrant. Our tradition has brujo, Appalachian, southern conjure, European, Ho O'mana, and Voudou influences. That gives us a lot of power to draw upon!).

Where are you, Ohio Rad Fae?!

I am excited to start homesteading, both in our yard with our neighbors and in the neighborhood community garden. I am hoping to raise chickens at the community garden, since our yard does not work for such an endeavor. It is in walking distance! I am thrilled to start living sustainably again- no more throwing away so much! (In the part of the world that I stayed in for 6 months, no one recycles- there is no curbside service, no centers to take items to, and everyone just throws everything away. The house I stayed in did not garden or compost, either. They used toxic cleaning products that hurt my throat and it was very squicky experience for me.)

I have already bought a worm composter and will be using my coffee grounds to raise oyster mushrooms. If I get the chickens I want, they will be getting scrap greens and eggshells, too. My neighbor and I will be building a large container to hold our recyclables and take turns driving them to the center.

We will be building our tribe. My partner and I have talked about having regular gatherings- Radical Faery brunches, crafternoons, game nights, backyard movie and fire pit nights, and so much more. We will be making art, writing poetry, organizing events, getting hooked into causes, and becoming part of these communities. We want to find our people and create community here in our chosen city. Part of the tribe-building will include starting Pagan Playdate Columbus and maybe even a homeschool outing group and spiral scouts troop.