April 5 is Donate a Pagan Book Day. It is a national call to donate pagan books to libraries and other places where people can find them. Want to know more? Join me- I'll be donating Witchy kids books to the Columbus library!
Friday, March 30, 2012
National Donate a Pagan Book Day!
April 5 is Donate a Pagan Book Day. It is a national call to donate pagan books to libraries and other places where people can find them. Want to know more? Join me- I'll be donating Witchy kids books to the Columbus library!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
PPPPOC Speak Out, Part Four
Last year, I encountered some troubling racism within the pagan/polytheist/pantheist communities that wasn't overt, but troubling nonetheless. It got me to thinking that minorities within any community have it hard- even when the community is itself a minority or subculture.
I decided to give my blog over to Pagan/Polytheist/Pantheist People of Color (and later this year to pagan/polytheist/pantheist queers and trans folk) to give them an audience for their experiences. All too often, we traffic only in our familiar circles and that lessens the chance for dialogue. This is a chance to hear from the affected folks themselves.
I sent out a series of questions to folks that I know and it went viral. expect several columns like this one as the answers to my questions come back to me.
This interview is with
. My questions are first followed by hir answers in italics.
|
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Letters to Littles, March 2012
This is my first post for the blog carnival "Letters to Littles". This is a blog carnival that encourages bloggers to write letters to their young chldren about their shared lives in the moment. A snapshot in time is thereby captured, a memory or two, and something of value is created for posterity. Well, lets hope my contribution can be that profound, anyway!
I am excited to make this a semi-regular feature on Witch Mom. What a great idea! When I created the semi-regular feature "Watching My Son Grow" I was thinking it could also do the same thing, but I like this format better, I think.
Dear Rowan,
I have no idea how old you will be when you get to read this, but I hope that you can come back to this blog again and again and read all about you, me, and our family. Our family is a little (ahem) unique and I want to document this grand experiment we are calling The Kunning Family.
At this writing, you are two years and almost two months old. You just really "got" the concept of what birthdays are this last time and now you want to open every box and package that comes (hoping it is a present). Your second birthday was spent in Appalachia, surrounded by family and friends from the UU church there.
We now are getting a new start in Columbus and you are already crushed out on the neighbor girl, Madda. You ask for her almost every day and follow her around like a puppy when you are together. It is pretty cute. A bit ago, we got library cards and now we go to the library once a week to get new books. Our local branch also has a playground behind it, so our Monday outings are super fun for you.
We started attending a new UU church too- and there a few kids in the nursery for you to get to know. So Sundays are fun for you, too- and you ask to go to church on other days of the week.
The weather has been unpredictable and kinda crappy (it IS March), but as soon as it warms up, we are going to be taking regular walks to get to know our neighborhood. We will also be volunteering in the community garden, joining the Y, making regular trips to the zoo, and going outside to play more. I can't wait to start exploring our new city and life with you!
While you are "too young" for school, I have been working with you anyway. You are amazing- your vocabulary is extensive, you can count to 12, and you know most of your letters already. You tell stories (to us, to your toys, to the birds) and listen attentively when we read to you. I am blown away at how smart you are and how your personality is already your own.
You have this amazing smile that we call your "Cholla smile" you started smiling that way, with all your teeth exposed like a predator, the corners of your eyes crinkled in delight after visiting Auntie Cholla and seeing her smile and laugh. You like to make people laugh and perform constantly. I would not be surprised if you became a thespian. When you act out and need to get a time out, you go-to defense is "funny? laughin'?" hoping that if you make us laugh you will avoid discipline.
You are in your in your own room with your own big boy bed now, and the transition has not been as hard as I thought it would be (for you, anyway). Sometimes, when you wake upset in the middle of the night, I am more than OK getting into bed with you to snuggle, even though we are sharing a twin bed. When you put your nose against mine and say "I love you, mommy" in the dark, it more than makes up for my loss of sleep. (But can I say that I feel so much more energetic and happy to play with you today, because I got a full night's sleep? Hint hint.)
You talk non-stop. I remember when you were very little, your father and I would talk about how we could not wait until you were old enough to talk and tell us what you are thinking and feeling. Now sometimes, we would love to have 10 minutes of silence! whether or not we will ever get it again, you are a free spirit that loves life and I am so proud to be your mom.
Your hair is almost down to the small of your back now. We have never cut it, and when we ask you if you want it cut (because you HATE when we brush it) you tell us no. So we have not cut it and will not until you want us to.
In closing, I just want to remind you that I love you, you are my favorite person in the whole world, and I can't wait to see what comes next. Together!
Love, Mama
I am excited to make this a semi-regular feature on Witch Mom. What a great idea! When I created the semi-regular feature "Watching My Son Grow" I was thinking it could also do the same thing, but I like this format better, I think.
Dear Rowan,
 |
| When Nanny and Pap Pap came to visit with Oscar and Felix, you played in their crates all day! |
At this writing, you are two years and almost two months old. You just really "got" the concept of what birthdays are this last time and now you want to open every box and package that comes (hoping it is a present). Your second birthday was spent in Appalachia, surrounded by family and friends from the UU church there.
We now are getting a new start in Columbus and you are already crushed out on the neighbor girl, Madda. You ask for her almost every day and follow her around like a puppy when you are together. It is pretty cute. A bit ago, we got library cards and now we go to the library once a week to get new books. Our local branch also has a playground behind it, so our Monday outings are super fun for you.
We started attending a new UU church too- and there a few kids in the nursery for you to get to know. So Sundays are fun for you, too- and you ask to go to church on other days of the week.
 |
| At the park behind the library |
While you are "too young" for school, I have been working with you anyway. You are amazing- your vocabulary is extensive, you can count to 12, and you know most of your letters already. You tell stories (to us, to your toys, to the birds) and listen attentively when we read to you. I am blown away at how smart you are and how your personality is already your own.
You have this amazing smile that we call your "Cholla smile" you started smiling that way, with all your teeth exposed like a predator, the corners of your eyes crinkled in delight after visiting Auntie Cholla and seeing her smile and laugh. You like to make people laugh and perform constantly. I would not be surprised if you became a thespian. When you act out and need to get a time out, you go-to defense is "funny? laughin'?" hoping that if you make us laugh you will avoid discipline.
 |
| Snuggling after a long day. |
You talk non-stop. I remember when you were very little, your father and I would talk about how we could not wait until you were old enough to talk and tell us what you are thinking and feeling. Now sometimes, we would love to have 10 minutes of silence! whether or not we will ever get it again, you are a free spirit that loves life and I am so proud to be your mom.
Your hair is almost down to the small of your back now. We have never cut it, and when we ask you if you want it cut (because you HATE when we brush it) you tell us no. So we have not cut it and will not until you want us to.
In closing, I just want to remind you that I love you, you are my favorite person in the whole world, and I can't wait to see what comes next. Together!
Love, Mama
Saturday, March 24, 2012
PPPPOC Speak Out, Part Three
Last year, I encountered some troubling racism within the pagan/polytheist/pantheist communities that wasn't overt, but troubling nonetheless. It got me to thinking that minorities within any community have it hard- even when the community is itself a minority or subculture.
I decided to give my blog over to Pagan/Polytheist/Pantheist People of Color (and later this year to pagan/polytheist/pantheist queers and trans folk) to give them an audience for their experiences. All too often, we traffic only in our familiar circles and that lessens the chance for dialogue. This is a chance to hear from the affected folks themselves.
I sent out a series of questions to folks that I know and it went viral. expect several columns like this one as the answers to my questions come back to me.
This interview is with TJ Kahn. My questions are first followed by hir answers in italics.
 |
| Mass produced racist valentines. An example of institutionalized racism that people accept... until they don't. |
I qualify myself as a Religious Humanist / Neo-Pagan. I have a mixture of Native American, Zen Buddhist, Judeo-Christian and scientific beliefs umbrellaed under an animistic/pantheistic philosophy.
Can you tell us how you identify as a person of color?
I identify as a Latino/Native American (First Nations) person. (Of Mexican-American and Mission Indian descent.)
Do you identify with the term "pagan"? Why or why not?
I identify with "Neo-Pagan" because it is the only term that encompasses all of me, but I rarely identify with the larger Earth-centered Pagan community, though I hold them in great respect.
Have you ever encountered what you consider racism (however you define it) while at a pagan gathering, circle, or workshop (public or private)? Can you tell us what happened?
 |
| Holy cats, this one is bad. |
Do you believe that there is a bias against any traditions/Gods/types of religious practices in the greater pagan community? Do you believe that these biases are informed by racism?
As above, there have been very little references to my particular ancestry, and larger pagan gatherings tend to ignore my particular patrons (Athena, Bast, Thoth) in favor of larger Gaea-deities. (Blue Man, Earth Mother, Pan, etc.)
What would you like to tell white pagans about making spaces more welcoming, inclusive, and "safe"?
Host more Native American animistic teachers.
Have you had conversations with "white" pagans about race? Did it go well? Do you feel as if you were heard?
Not about race. I've usually felt heard pretty well in the pagan community.
 |
| The term "Indian Giver" is particularly infuriating. Look up the history if you do not know. |
I tend to see a plethora of Native American practices used in pagan ceremonies like smudging and dreamcatchers, but almost none of the other less-popular traditions like medicine dances and sand paintings. I would say more 'commercialized' rather than 'appropriated'.
Anything else you would like to speak to?
I would like to see more respect given to the ground and ancestors of the particular area where pagan practices are being held. Not from an Earth-Mother perspective, but respect for whose land that used to be.
For more information on dismantling white privilege, race in the news, and anti-racist activism, check out:
and more links to come.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Ask Me Anything: Pagan "Baptism"
In this semi-regular feature on Witch Mom, I answer select questions from readers. There is always a box to the right of my blog posts if you would also like to ask a question, or click here. It could be about The Craft, parenting, pop culture, multi-religious education, homeschooling, or whatever! I cannot promise to answer each one, but I will read them!
A reader asks: "You have such interesting posts and a lot about parenting, do you know a pagan equivalent of a baptism that can be performed for a baby by a solitary practitioner? (My family is far from open minded about my faith, so having others join could be kinda hard.)"
Not knowing what Path you follow, I am going to give you a generic idea that can be adapted in many ways. Hope you get some great ideas from it. Blessings to you and your new child! There are other Wiccan ideas for such a rite- many people call them "Wiccanings" or "sainings"*). I myself am not Wiccan, so here is a basic form for you to follow, regardless of your path.
Baptism, as it is practiced by the Catholic Church, has pretty misogynistic and scary roots. Catholic doctrine says that a child is "unclean" and "impure" because it is a product of "original sin" and came from a woman's vagina (which is pretty much always unclean by their standards).
These days, the Church talks only about declarations of name, of presenting the child to the community, and of dedication to God (the previous dogma no longer plays well in Peoria, I suppose), but these traditions have deep roots that have spiritual repercussionsand meanings today. I would no sooner baptize my son in a Catholic church than I would tell him flat out that he is inherently evil. And I have a hunch, as a pagan, that you feel the same way. So how do we, as pagans, bless and welcome a new babe? Can't baptism be reworked or reclaimed? Sure!
After all, what is baptism (looking at it through pagan eyes) if not a blessing by water? We can remove the stigma that a man (priest) can somehow bless water and (only then) make it holy. We can say it is not necessary to use "holy water" and that salvation is a silly idea. We can proudly proclaim that all water is holy and a miracle. We can use it, as well as other elements to bless our newborn.
Water is an important element (but only one of five). I would say a blessing rite that I would do for a pagan child would include a blessing by all the elements.
Here is a simple proposal that you could embellish as you please:
1. Gather tokens of each of the five elements- earth, air, fire, and water. Be creative about what you gather- perhaps for earth you could get a leaf from the tree under which you planed your child's placenta. Or a bit of sand or soil from a particularly sacred spot for you or your family. Graveyard dirt form a beloved ancestor, perhaps.
For water, there are so many sacred springs and wells- I myself have a bottle of water from the Chalice Well at Glastonbury Tor that I use sparingly for such occasions. Or perhaps taking waters from a meaningful river, lake or creek, or an ocean that means something to your family.
For fire, you could obviously use an oil lamp or a candle. Or light a cauldron ablaze and do the rite in the out of doors. When my son was born, I created a birth altar that had, among other things, a very large green pillar candle on it. I burn it now at each of his birthday celebration as well. It should last until he has moved out!
For air, a feather or wing of a bird or insect to act as a fan would be lovely. Pick something that is again, meaningful. I have ties to owls, crows, parrots, and butterflies.
For the fifth element (aether or spirit), is known to imbue everything, especially through vibration- so a lovely song that speaks to the aim of your ritual would do nicely. Another option is a vibrant work of art, displayed. If you have a talent for art or music, or someone in your family does, perhaps an original work would be especially meaningful. The art could be displayed in a nursery or could be sung to your child long after the rite as a lullaby.
2. Create liturgy. You may wish to create language around how each element is blessing the child. Air can bestow clarity, earth can provide grounding, water can provide insights through dreams, fire can provide a creative spark, for example. Whatever gifts you wish the elements to provide is all you need to say, or be as fancy as you like! Are there gods that will be invoked and present? What do you want to say to them? How will you present your child to them?
Personally, I would name the child at the rite for all present to hear (sometimes that is just you and your gods) and then present them to crowd and the gods of your choosing. Proceed to then bless the child with all five elements. Perhaps if a song is chosen to represent aether, it could play throughout the rite, as the rite will not take long.
One suggestion I have is to adapt the Witchcraft tradition called the "fivefold kiss" which blesses a body at rituals, including ones like handfastings.
The words that accompany each kiss are as follows (there are other versions in Gardnerianism and Alexandrianism):
Blessed be thy feet that have walked this Path
Blessed be thy knees that kneel at the sacred altar
Blessed be thy sex which gives and receives pleasure
Blessed be thy breasts formed in strength and beauty
Blessed be thy lips that shall utter the Sacred Names.
At each line, the place on the body is kissed/annointed/blessed. Riffing off of the five fold kiss idea, you could anoint these areas with the four elemental symbols as well as (or instead of) kiss. Or come up with your own novel way of blessing the child with the elements.
3. Once you have assembled your materials, decide who will be in attendance and/or participating. If you could have one other person there, it would be helpful- as they could hold the child as you administer the blessings. If it is you and only you with the child, having them in a bassinette or car seat would do nicely as well. This step includes any deities that you may want to invoke and be present at the ritual. While you do not need fancy statuary, a candle lit at the time their name is said will help bring their attention to the rite.
4. Create your script and practice. When does the music start? Do you have liturgy, or are you being impromptu? Is more than one person participating in the rite? Who does what? Is there a spot for a god to "speak"? I always suggest at least one "run through" before the actual rite, to make sure everyone is on the same page and it makes the transitions smoother.
5. Do the rite when the child is present and awake.
Blessings to you and your family. I hope this helps you.
*I personally do not like the term saining as applied to this ritual, as it implies the child is impure as well. Saining is a term that refers to the ritual cleansing of a space or person, usually pre-ritual. Since I do not buy into the doctrine of sin or original sin, I find cleansing a newborn to be unnecessary at best and offensive at worst.
A reader asks: "You have such interesting posts and a lot about parenting, do you know a pagan equivalent of a baptism that can be performed for a baby by a solitary practitioner? (My family is far from open minded about my faith, so having others join could be kinda hard.)"
 |
| From The Cauldron, link to article on right. |
Baptism, as it is practiced by the Catholic Church, has pretty misogynistic and scary roots. Catholic doctrine says that a child is "unclean" and "impure" because it is a product of "original sin" and came from a woman's vagina (which is pretty much always unclean by their standards).
"During a Catholic baptismal ceremony, the priest still addresses the baby, 'I exorcize thee thou unclean spirit... Hear thy doom, O Devil accursed, Satan accursed!" The exorcism is euphemistically described as a 'means to remove impediments to grace resulting from the effects of original sin and the power of Satan over fallen nature.' -The Women's Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets, Barbara WalkerThis liturgy comes from a belief that humans are evil and belong to the devil (which is not my fanciful "pagan" idea of Catholicism- it comes directly from St. Augustine and Tertullian). They believe every baby is born evil and babies that die in the womb go to hell. Thus, a baptism is necessary to ensure the baby's salvation. But in Church history, babies were considered so impure and dangerous to priests, that they refused to touch the infant for forty days after the birth. Wow. Just wow. That is some serious misogynistic baggage.
 |
| From a Wiccaning in MN. (Photo from PNC Minnesota bureau) |
After all, what is baptism (looking at it through pagan eyes) if not a blessing by water? We can remove the stigma that a man (priest) can somehow bless water and (only then) make it holy. We can say it is not necessary to use "holy water" and that salvation is a silly idea. We can proudly proclaim that all water is holy and a miracle. We can use it, as well as other elements to bless our newborn.
Water is an important element (but only one of five). I would say a blessing rite that I would do for a pagan child would include a blessing by all the elements.
Here is a simple proposal that you could embellish as you please:
1. Gather tokens of each of the five elements- earth, air, fire, and water. Be creative about what you gather- perhaps for earth you could get a leaf from the tree under which you planed your child's placenta. Or a bit of sand or soil from a particularly sacred spot for you or your family. Graveyard dirt form a beloved ancestor, perhaps.
 |
| The Chalice Well |
For fire, you could obviously use an oil lamp or a candle. Or light a cauldron ablaze and do the rite in the out of doors. When my son was born, I created a birth altar that had, among other things, a very large green pillar candle on it. I burn it now at each of his birthday celebration as well. It should last until he has moved out!
For air, a feather or wing of a bird or insect to act as a fan would be lovely. Pick something that is again, meaningful. I have ties to owls, crows, parrots, and butterflies.
For the fifth element (aether or spirit), is known to imbue everything, especially through vibration- so a lovely song that speaks to the aim of your ritual would do nicely. Another option is a vibrant work of art, displayed. If you have a talent for art or music, or someone in your family does, perhaps an original work would be especially meaningful. The art could be displayed in a nursery or could be sung to your child long after the rite as a lullaby.
Personally, I would name the child at the rite for all present to hear (sometimes that is just you and your gods) and then present them to crowd and the gods of your choosing. Proceed to then bless the child with all five elements. Perhaps if a song is chosen to represent aether, it could play throughout the rite, as the rite will not take long.
One suggestion I have is to adapt the Witchcraft tradition called the "fivefold kiss" which blesses a body at rituals, including ones like handfastings.
The words that accompany each kiss are as follows (there are other versions in Gardnerianism and Alexandrianism):
Blessed be thy feet that have walked this Path
Blessed be thy knees that kneel at the sacred altar
Blessed be thy sex which gives and receives pleasure
Blessed be thy breasts formed in strength and beauty
Blessed be thy lips that shall utter the Sacred Names.
At each line, the place on the body is kissed/annointed/blessed. Riffing off of the five fold kiss idea, you could anoint these areas with the four elemental symbols as well as (or instead of) kiss. Or come up with your own novel way of blessing the child with the elements.
3. Once you have assembled your materials, decide who will be in attendance and/or participating. If you could have one other person there, it would be helpful- as they could hold the child as you administer the blessings. If it is you and only you with the child, having them in a bassinette or car seat would do nicely as well. This step includes any deities that you may want to invoke and be present at the ritual. While you do not need fancy statuary, a candle lit at the time their name is said will help bring their attention to the rite.
4. Create your script and practice. When does the music start? Do you have liturgy, or are you being impromptu? Is more than one person participating in the rite? Who does what? Is there a spot for a god to "speak"? I always suggest at least one "run through" before the actual rite, to make sure everyone is on the same page and it makes the transitions smoother.
5. Do the rite when the child is present and awake.
Blessings to you and your family. I hope this helps you.
*I personally do not like the term saining as applied to this ritual, as it implies the child is impure as well. Saining is a term that refers to the ritual cleansing of a space or person, usually pre-ritual. Since I do not buy into the doctrine of sin or original sin, I find cleansing a newborn to be unnecessary at best and offensive at worst.
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