It feels really real now.

An old map of Oakland.

I am writing this the Monday before I pack my son, my birds, and some personal affects into our car and start our journey eastward, to our new home in Ohio. This weekend really hammered home that I may be seeing certain people and things for the last time, and I am in a state of awe and grief. The SF Bay Area, SF and mostly Oakland, has been my home for the last 18 years. I have created relationships, art, institutions, and projects here. It has felt like home since I first visited and now I leave for a place that I have never seen.

Saturday was a gauntlet of personal visits. We visited other initiates of our Witchcraft tradition to say goodbye and were bestowed with gifts. One gift in particular tugged at my heart: When I was pregnant with Rowan, I had some medical complications. My magickal community pulled together and helped me rectify these so that I was able to have a normal vaginal birth. Some made charms for me, others did rituals where they were in the world, still others collaborated on a quilt. Several initiates made quilt squares- they drew in permanent marker on cloth squares the most amazing images for him. And I finally picked them up on Saturday. I am excited to make Rowan this quilt- a lasting and fitting magickal legacy for such a fey child. I will be combining it with a quilt square that I got after Cora Anderson's death- one of the squares she always intended to incorporate into a larger project. Now it will be.

The geese at Lake Merritt.

I also visited a former Craft teacher on Saturday. She is mostly house-bound these days and we chatted about my initiation, my travels, my son, and general small talk. She loves children and is a former Montessori teacher, so she was delighted that Rowan was along for the visit. I am glad he got to spend some more time with her before we leave.

Sunday, we started the day by attending services at our church, First Unitarian Church of Oakland. We got to say goodbye to Dorothy, who staffs the nursery (Rowan just loves her, and I spent some time volunteering there as well, so we caught up since I was teaching Sunday School over the summer and didn't make it to FUCO). I got to say goodbye to a few more seminarians, my ministers, and the director of children programs and religious education (whom I volunteered for last semester). I dropped off some crafting supplies and turned in my key to the church. My keychain is becoming lighter and lighter these days. The service was amazing- a commemoration of 9/11 that managed to be uplifting, angry, and inspiring- all at the same time. I wept. The message that "friction causes growth" was a timely one for my family.

After, we jetted off to SF to drop Rowan off at his best friend's house for a day of play while his parents ran errands and visited some more. We then visited my Witch Mama (the Witch who took my oath) and Witch Sister (a sibling in regards to the fact that my Witch Mama also took her oath). We chatted away and laughed until dinner, and then ate the delicious coq au vin and watermelon salad that they had made for us. When it came time to say goodbye, I could not help it. I started to cry. "Don't forget us", said my witch Sister (as if I ever could!). I managed to hold it mostly together until we got out onto the front porch. There, my Witch Mama sang me a farewell song under the full moon. Gods, I am going to miss her. I am crying even now as I type.

Today (Monday) we are running ourselves ragged trying to accomplish everything- a DMV visit, renting a car while ours gets seen by the mechanics, the last bits of packing and purging. Tomorrow, we are having our last hurrah with our friends (whom will join us in Columbus next year and we will make a home together) at Stinson Beach. Then Wednesday the movers come to take away all our stuff, and we leave Thursday AM. A whirlwind, and I am sure it will pass in the blink of an eye.