|Rowan, going to work.|
We have one adult in the home that does shift work- he worked a midnight shift last night and was sleeping as soon as Rowan woke and was ready for play. We have bedrooms and a bathroom of our own upstairs, but the main living space is on the ground floor- along with two other bedrooms, including the one in which this tired shift worker was trying to sleep.
Rowan's toys and books are in the living room, two rooms away from the bedroom in question, and mama spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to keep Rowan quiet. He doesn't do "indoor voice" yet- he thinks it's a silly game or joke. He speaks at a louder volume than most adults, just like most toddlers and is a boisterous and he is an active player.
|He is one of the most cheerful people I know.|
I roughly brought him upstairs for a nap and yelled at him. At first he laughed at me- he didn't take it seriously. Then all at once, he did. His face went from smiling to crumpled and wailing and he did the only thing he knew how to do when he is scared and upset- he threw himself into mama's arms for a hug. Only this time, the irony wasn't lost on me that I was the one he was scared of, at least in that moment. I felt ashamed.
|Fun on the "twac-tuh"|
I was grateful when daddy came home from his job and took Rowan into a bedroom for an overdue afternoon nap (getting up at 5 AM means an afternoon nap for daddy, too). I had already tried and failed to get him to nap twice. This freed me to breathe, sit, and write this confessional.
In what ways have you felt like a failure as a parent? How do you spring back? How do you make amends?