Religious Tourism

My child has been going with me on field trips to other religions' houses of worship lately, because I teach "Neighboring Faiths" at the local UU to middle schoolers. Last week, we went to a Catholic mass.

I personally was admiring how everyone was on the same page with the hymns, call and response, and how beautiful the sanctuary art was. Mass ritual can be so soothing, you know?

Meanwhile, Rowan was confused and upset. We had some talk while we were there that had to be tabled for a larger discussion at home because I did not want to be a bad guest to our hosts.

Things my little witchlet did not understand or like:

1. "Why do they have dead Jesus everywhere? Doesn't that hurt their feelings? Doesn't that celebrate his death instead of his life?"

I had to explain that Jesus was the Christian version of the divine kings who were king for a year, and sacrificed in the summer to create good crops for the people. It was his role to die. God made Jesus so that he could be sacrificed for the people. Except in the Christian version, it's not about fertility and abundance, it's about this idea of "sin" and "forgiveness". (For the record, he doesn't like the pagan version of the divine king story either.)

2. Which led to more conversations about sin and forgiveness. I told Rowan that Christians believe that you have to say that Jesus is your savior to be forgiven for bad things that you do. That everyone does bad things, but you have to make that statement before you die to go to heaven. Otherwise, you will go to hell. I explained the Christian ideas of heaven and hell to him and he thought their God was mighty unfair. "Their God can forgive people at any time, but he makes them do that or he punishes them?"

I told him yes, their god had a lot of rules including not working with any other Gods besides him. So if he were a Christian, he would have to say everyone else's Gods were fake and wrong and only work with God and Jesus. He thought that was prejudiced. He also was confused how Christians become good people if all they do is follow rules and not think for themselves.

I explained that value was not placed on that idea- we, as Witches place value on that idea. But many Christians was Christians to be sheep and follow their leader. That we are more like goats than sheep.

I also explained that god sent lots of punishments to non-believers and tests to his followers, not just when they die- it's a lifelong thing. I explained plagues and the story of Isaac. He was very upset and thinks that the Christian God is a jerk now. He is mad that kids at school who are Christian spout some of the things that they do (going to hell comments), especially now that he understand the context better. He thinks those kids are now "God's bullies".

3. I explained that Mary (the church was named after Mary) was Jesus' mom. He did not know that, and had questions. "So Mary was married to their God?". My response: "No, Mary was married to a man named Joseph." Rowan: "But Mary had a baby with God instead of Joseph?" I laughed and told him he knows many people that have had babies without being married or while being partnered with more than one person. (We know many poly people or people unmarried with kids.) Me: "Well, she did not plan it, God put baby Jesus inside her." Rowan: "She didn't know? HOW IS THAT NOT RAPE?" (At this point, we had to table the conversation to after church, as to not be offensive and disruptive guests.

I mean, the kid has a point of course. I have thought all of these things and rejected Christianity because of them as well. But the kid has to live in a majority Christian world and be OK with others having these ideas.

Todays' reading: Worker Owned Coop

One of the goals that I have for this year is to turn my apothecary into a worker owned coop. We have our first meeting this evening (Monday the 6th), with eight interested people meeting with me about how to proceed. Today, I did a reading to see our prospects:

The overall reading.

The center, the now, the heart of the matter. We see the Hare in the Moon, Santisima Muerte, A Franc with the words "Fraternité, Liberté, Egalité showing, a buckeye, A success Norse sigil, and a crystal. I interpret this as change, transformation to a more egalitarian structure successfully.

Some cluster in the recent past: the alligator paw is holding mandrake, the wishbone cradles a nutmeg and a coin, which is resting on dog tooth calcite, the baby doll leg and key crowns all. This I interpret as movement without knowing how it will turn out, towards a grounded fortune.

The near future has two items: my Buddha nut and High John the Conqueror. I interpret this as work towards enlightenment with success.

I always advise folks to practice, of course- but take readings for themselves with a grain of salt. (Ego often gets in the way when you divine for yourself.) I always align my souls and do a little sitting before a divination for myself.

Nature Walks with my Son

Augury is one thing I am teaching him.

I am proud to say Rowan loves being outdoors among plants and animals (I think he'll do wonderfully when we finally have our farm). Today, it was unseasonably warm for early March- so we went for a nature walk.

He and I like to collect things from our walks and look for signs and portents in nature to divine future events.

 

Rowan is now 7 and has lots of interesting ideas about the world and how it works. My job is to teach him many ways of thinking- magic, science, and that oddity of all oddities, human behavior.

Honey Locust Thorns.

When we are on walks, we collect things. Nuts, pinecones, rocks. If we collect something living, as we did these thorns, we always ask first and make an offering to "pay the coin" after. We offered spit for a thorn today- Rowan is going to use his to write on candles. I am adding mine to my bone set.

I explained to Rowan how thorns, all thorn trees, are sacred to the fey. And how they can be used to work or travel to their realm, as well as to blast and curse.

To the river!

Look! A whirlpool!

I explain that the river has currents that can be dangerous. But it also gives life by keeping the water from being stagnant for the creatures that live there. I talk about possibilities of what a "whirlpool" (or a circle of current) could be in the river that he spots. I tell him science first, then what it could mean in terms of sympathetic magic.

We pass many interesting places and things on our walks. Homes for land spirits. Buds that are out too soon (damn climate change!). 

Rowan finds "forts" and cool things everywhere. While he is still learning to be quiet and still so we can birdwatch, he does have an appeal as a hike partner. Being with him is seeing with beginner eyes all over again. Being with my son is an adventure.

A fort!

Cool burr!

Dedicating my Bone Set

It starts with smoke.

As promised, I am resurrecting this blog. Hopefully, after such a long hiatus, we still have some readership! Today's post is the first in a series all about one way I divine. 

Divination can be done by reading the clouds, listening to animals (I tend to watch crows) or other nature spirits, Tarot cards, Runes, pendulums, or other miscellaneous items (often called "bone casting" or "reading the bones", as many of these systems contain animal parts). I do all these things, as oracular work, divination, and spirit communication are my jam. So I have tried them all and do many on a frequent basis. 

Smoking my casting basket.

What is divination? Many people have a mistaken idea what it is and isn't/ When you do it correctly, spirits speak through you. You are a conduit of information and the tool that you use is not the message- it is the tool to garner the message. For example, when I first learned to use a pendulum, my teacher told us to talk to our particular tool and say "show me your yes, no, and maybe". Many students took that to mean that the pendulum was somehow speaking to them and a different pendulum may have a different way of stating yes, no, or maybe. NOPE.

Soaking in salt water.

Bone reading is done worldwide by many cultures including in Africa (and by African descendants in the Americas), in Siberia, in Eurasia, and Pacific Islands. It seems to be one of the earliest forms of getting messages from spirits/gods besides actual trance/possession/channeling (whatever you may call it). The awesome thing about this system is it is ever-evolving and highly personal.

Today's post is about my bone reading set: assembling, cleansing, & dedicating it so that it works well with me, the Witch. Since this system requires myriad items collected from animals, the earth, the sea, and the like- getting them to work together for you is a project. As an animist, I know that all these items have a spirit and a message. It's not always the same message each time (for example, a coin always means money). I have to learn to listen as much as they need to learn how to speak to me. They also have attached memories sometimes- and that memory of how I acquired them often goes into how I read that item.

Some of my set.

I also know that perhaps how this item came to me was not awesome for that item. Crystals being ripped out of the earth are often cursed by earth spirits (and why should they not be?). Animals who were killed for sport and not respected in their death often have issues to reconcile. I need to pay the coin, make amends, and gain the ear of these items so that they work with me. I, the Witch, offer them a purpose after their trauma and they see me through my traumas. We become allies.

Smoking to cleanse.

I am working on my own reading cloth, for example- which reflects my worldview as a traditional witch. It will be different than a Sangoma surface (which is often a circle and cross pattern drawn in the dirt or painted on an animal hide), different than commercially available cloths. Some of the items in my set are like items in others' Sangoma sets, as that symbolism resonates with me- but other items have been removed) yet my set is unique as a whole and no one on earth has a set that contains all my items.

Some examples: I have a wishbone from a turkey consumed by me and my Witch Kin at a Yule feast. Wishbones traditionally imply luck, chance, etc. But this one also has the celebration, kinship, and tribal feelings attached to it. My skull means the ancestors as well, but the skull in my set has dozens of friends scattered all over the world. I bought a whole set and gave them to initiates and apprentices in my tradition over the last year. The humble pockmarked quartz stone in my set is from the front yard of my oath mother. It means family, oaths, and loyalty.

Stay tuned for more posts about divination and this ever-evolving set!

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For those that are interested, the smoke I used for this purpose was not made by me! While I often create incense blends for ritual purposes, there are others that make awesome blends too. The large round jar is a Lilith blend made by the Sword and the Rose in San Francisco. They create amazing self lighting blends. The formulary is well researched and finished while in trance with the spirit that they are creating for. I have several of their blends. I also used "Summoning Spirits" and "Divination" by Rosarium Blends of Washington State.

Hello there.

As you can probably tell, this blog is very inactive. It may be resurrected as a regular project again one day- but most of my time and energy is going into Boline Apothecary and its blog, shop, webstore, and needs.

Feel free to browse the archives here- there are lots of articles that I am mighty proud of on parenting, Witchery, philosophy, and more.

H.P. Lovecraft Day!

On this day in 1937, H.P. Lovecraft, oracle and writer supreme died. To many, he will never die, as his work are immortal.

Seasonal Altar

To connect our son to the cycle of the Wheel of the Year, we have a space for him in the dining room for "his altar". He puts things on it that he finds on walks or are given to him that are important. It's not a large space, but treasures come in small packages when you are a child on a walk. He takes after his mama- being a collector. He always finds a stick, leaf, rock or something to bring home.

Shown on the altar now: A rectangular wood box and an acorn shaped box given to him by us. A dried green leaf from our mulberry tree. A black walnut. A rock from the Indiana Dunes. His "owl nut". Acorns. An evil eye necklace from Grandma. A cicada carapace. and "tree pom poms".

Since winter has just started in earnest, the picture that I took today is more fall in theme. He knows that if he picks up some treasure and puts it in his pocket he can place it here, and he loves that. From time to time, we also talk about the seasons and bring out his altar items and what they mean and how they connect to the holidays of the year.

Getting ready for Yule.

My son is going on four and he is already asking why we don't celebrate Christmas "like everybody else". I have had myriad answers for him:

"We are not Christians. Christians celebrate Christmas. We celebrate Yule."

"We are Witches, and we aren't like everybody else."

"We celebrate our holiday many of the same ways the Christians celebrate theirs. Everything you love about Christmas are also Yule celebrations! We will trim a tree, have a feast, invite people over, bake sweets, exchange gifts, hang lights."

It doesn't help that his grandparents (and when he's there, TV commercials) are pushing Christmas- HARD. He came home from a weekend with them talking about it incessantly. I am sure he saw lots of Christmas hype on their TV. And then he said, "I wanna celebrate Christmas."

So I said, "You are going to celebrate Christmas when we are with your grandparents. And we as a family also celebrate Yule."

Then he replied. I wanna celebrate Christmas for the right reason." (Uh oh.)

"What do you mean?", I asked.

"I don't want to tell you." (Hmmm. That isn't good and smells of deceptive indoctrination...)

"Sweetie, you can tell me anything. You know that. Please tell me why it is important to you.", I pressed.

"JESUS." (OK, confirmation of my fears.)

"Well, Christians believe that Jesus was the son of a god. And they celebrate Christmas as his birthday party (never mind it actually isn't his birthday, according biblical scholars). But WE do not believe that Jesus was anything more than a cool guy who said some important things in his day. When you are older, you will be free to seek out any or no religion at all, once you can actually understand them and what they offer. But while you are little, we do things as a family, a team. We are the Kunnings Three, remember?"

That brings a smile to his face. He loves being one of the Kunnings Three.

So now, I am getting him ready to celebrate Yule. With the media onslaught that happens this time of year, I cannot blame him for wanting to be a part of it. And I refuse to take part in the onslaught that celebrates it too early. So after Thanksgiving, we erect a tree and such.

He gets such propaganda from commercials and all his favorite shows (all kids shows feature Santa this time of year) that we need to show him that our traditions are fun and good, too. Cuz frankly, who throws a religious party better than Witches? (No one, that's who.)

He spent another weekend with the grandparents after Thanksgiving. He is coming home this evening. Then he will help us put up a tree, drink hot cocoa, and we'll start teaching him seasonal songs.

On the 1st, we will start the advent calendar (in the shape of a tree, that counts to 21). Inside each drawer is a treat or a slip of paper saying what fun thing we get to do that day. We will teach him songs, let him help cook and bake, light the yule log, and on our actual celebration, we will let him stay up and revel with us (we stay up all night to see the sunrise). I am sure he will fall asleep long before dawn, but being a part of something big and festive is important.

Only after we do our family traditions will he get Christmas, with his grandparents.

How do you celebrate the seasons, especially with little ones? How do you deal with the crass commercialism, the overwhelming Christianity, and extended family that are probably not the same religion as you (and perhaps trying to sway your kid to their point of view)?

Happy Hallows!

Some Witch kin came to visit for Samhain, and did fun (and ritual) ensue! While I cannot disclose what we did on Hallowmas, I can share some photos with you!

C. makes a stand-in for the sacred king out of plants foraged in the neighborhood.

An altar to some of our dead.

The cauldron awaits the King and his sacrifice.

The red rose burned and turned a bright blue.

Plant Spirit Work

Mandragora Spirit by Johnathan Blackthorn

This post by me originally appeared on the Samhain's Siren's group blog on October 10th, 2013.

Before pharmacies and pharmaceutical companies, before doctors and people in lab coats, people sought extra help with their healing from herbalists. They may not have called them “herbalists” back then- some were called “granny”, “bruja”, “curandera”, “strega”, or “cunning man”- but these healers were wise and knowledgeable about plants and their actions in the human body. Often they practiced what we now call magic(k) in addition to herbalism.

Many of these healers lived somewhat apart from the hustle and bustle of the village- allowing them time and energy to commune with plants and learn their secrets- though cultivation, wildcrafting, listening to plants, and experimenting with them to make medicines. And these generations of healers from across the globe, now called herbalists, have left us a legacy of amazing information. Indeed, to really master herbalism, one must study for years to get a basic grasp and then continue your education for a lifetime. There are tens of thousands of plants, just as there are myriad maladies to help cure.

I started out as most do- a dabbler called to heal myself and my friends. I made simples and teas, created poultices, and cured yeast infections. The more I learned, especially as I got into plant spirit work, the more I was fascinated and wanted to know. I personally believe that plants taught us what they could do- and those that knew how to listen became the first healers.

To listen to plants is not easy to relearn (I say relearn, because children do not seem to have a problem doing it- I distinctly remember my son, Rowan, even before he could speak to me in words, telling me to water a neglected plant by tugging on my shirt and pointing at the houseplant and making the sign for water (he was taught ASL as a baby).

When I was in herb school in California, we went out into the mountains to listen to plants. As I lie under a manzanita bush, I distinctly got the message “I was first” and saw strange strobe-like flashes of pictures of manzanita and madrone traveling across hard desert and clay before any other plant life. As they traveled, other plants befitted from them taking root in the hard terrain and breaking up the soil- so they followed and sprung up in manzanita's wake. After my “vision”, I did research and sure enough- this is what botanists believe happened. I was tickled and astonished the clarity of communication.

Recently on a hike with my apprentice, the wind rustled through the trees and I got a feeling of euphoria and joy- coming to me from a very specific tree. “This is how we move” said the tree. “You move from within, we move from without. ” The tree was delighted to be moved in this way.

We can remember how to talk to plants, though a series of conscious decisions. Taking a cue from the generations of herbalists before me, I try and live part of my life apart from the hub bub. Apart from other people, machines, and electronic communication. This is not easy to do when you live in a city, run a business, have a part time job, are a parent, and go to grad school! Not easy at all. It requires deliberate effort and choices.

I have told my apprentice as we begin this work: to listen to animals, one must lower their energy several notches. To listen to plants, you must go even lower (and by lower, I am not referring to hierarchy, I am speaking to vibrational frequency. Plants vibrate at a lower frequency than non-human animals and even lower than human animals. So to “hear” them, you need to “shift down”, too. I am still crafting language around this skill and truth, so this may not be the clearest explanation to you reader. Sorry for any confusion the language may cause.)

Cultivating this skill requires no distractions, stillness (in mind and environment) and the skill of knowing how (which comes from years of practice). I can do it at will when I have time, space, and no distractions, but it took years to be able to do this on command. Now I can make small spaces for this skill frequently, rather than needing hours at a time as I needed when I first started (although hours at a time is a luxury I would take!).

Rowan, helping mama wildcraft.

How do I work it into my busy life? I sought a part-time job that was within walking distance of my home. (Driving requires a brain wave state that is the antithesis of what you are cultivating. And it takes hours to “come down” out of that state.) I walk to work every day, taking back alleys alone. I drop my son off at the babysitter's and give myself 20-30 extra minutes to get to and from work. The alleys of Clintonville (my neighborhood in Columbus, Ohio) are lovely- overgrown and lush with “weeds”, crows and goldfinches, squirrels and murals. I have flipped over a flailing cicada, done augury, and wildcrafted red clover, melissa, dandelion, and plantain to and from work.

I do media fasts. In order to keep people up to date with my blog and business on social media, I queue up blog posts to self-publish, so I do not have to manually post frequently. Being on the internet is not being present with what IS- right in front of your nose. 

I send my three year old son, Rowan on playdates when I make Boline recipes or process ingredients each week. This a time for me to be hands-on and commune with my ingredients, so I can make the best possible product. I can infuse my remedies with intent and add my intent to the will of the plant to make the medicine stronger.

I have a sitting practice that reminds me of stillness and being present. And I grow and wildcraft many of my ingredients. My family does a red meal rite weekly and feeds a tree/the ancestors. We thank the animals and plants that doe for us to survive. And so much more that connects me in a real, daily, tangible way to the gods, the earth, its cycles, and all of creation.

Boline Apothecary is my small artisinal project that helps heal people through seasonally available remedies and body care. I hope you and yours enjoy what I make, with the knowledge that it is a labor of love.

Flow, Fate, and Will (for me, personally)

Fate, by Alphonse Mucha

So now that I have tackled the fictions of Will, and defined it as Fate or Flow- what is this Witch doing to follow it? After all, that is what a Witch does- we make manifesting things look easy because we are following Flow and letting it do most of the work. That is not to say that this work is easy. Surrender of ego is never easy. Which is why Witches often have a sitting practice and perform alchemy on themselves all the time.

And its easy to mistake Will/Fate for ego/desire. People do it all the time. A Witch listens very closely, internally and externally, to discern which is which. It takes practice (and messing up a lot) to be able to tell the difference.

Columbus, Ohio was never on my radar. I am still surprised and appalled that I am here on some days. It was never a first choice. Don't get me wrong, Columbus-ians! It is a lovely city with lots of great things to offer. I am delighted when I discover a new one. But my body thrums with delight when on the coasts. I miss the ocean, the mountains, and the forests. I know that I shall return to the coast eventually. Flow will lead me there, I know it. I have seen it. I keep asking to see if this is my desire/ego or if this is something that we should actually do. I will keep asking as I plan toward that goal.

by Jessica Hagy.

I know now, especially in retrospect, that I was meant to be here for a while, even though ego is still pouting about being in Columbus (or the Midwest at all). Fate drew me here for several reasons. And because I have followed Fate, certain opportunities continue to open for me and life is much easier than it was in California. I have been rewarded with opportunities and more ease in my efforts.

Why am I here?

1. Space and ease while accomplishing my Will.
Columbus is simply easier to make things happen- finances, networking, opportunities- I can afford a spacious place for half what we paid in California in a better neighborhood. Childcare is cheaper. I have made friends that help me when I need it. I have a support network for my family. All this makes it possible to go to grad school, have my partner finish school, and still spend time with Rowan and be a tight-knit family.

2. Opportunities.
We found our (below market rent) home through connections.
Our child care situation was just as easy to establish.
Boline is growing and thriving here. (I went from simply making things for me and my family and friends, to having on online store, being in retail locations, doing two different farmer's markets each month, and leading workshops- all in one year.)
I found the PERFECT school for me to attend. It just so happens to be the most reputable TCM school in the entire midwest- and it's 10 minutes from my house.
My partner is finally going back to school, because we could afford to get him out of student loan default here. He starts in January.

3. Connections.
I randomly meet someone here, only to have them become an important connection. A random attendee at one of our movie nights now runs a community garden, for example. She contacted me to ask if they could grow medicinal herbs for Boline. I in turn asked if they had a hoop house so I could overwinter my container plants. Super win-win for both entities.
I found an apprentice (even though I was in no way looking for one). He moved here because Flow brought him here, too. Pretty neat.
The woman I met online before we came to Columbus (who ran a neat art group), became the neighbor who got us a great housing deal. When we lost power last summer, we spent our days on the porch, grilling what was next thawing in our freezers. We watched the kids play outside and our burdens were made so much easier having each other. She is also an awesome child care giver and Rowan goes over there several times a week. I have never had a better neighbor situation.

All of this ease and energetic spaciousness tells me I am following the River. I can let go and let it carry me for a while.

So what is my Will/Fate, as best as I can see for now?

To heal people. To raise an amazing child (who asked to be here) to be an amazing Witch. Allow the called to find me so that I can teach them to be Witches in service of Fate, too. These are the things that I have been called to do. So how do I make these things happen?

My goals for Columbus:
1. Do excellently in school and learn as much as possible to become an excellent healer. Pass my national boards and get licensed for OH and OR before I move.

2. Teach Rowan to read, count to 1000, add, subtract, and multiply before we leave. Continue his Witchy education every week as well. Spend lots of loving, quality time with him.

3. Build and streamline Boline Apothecary so that when I move it, it is easy to start up in OR. Continue my herbal education and connections, making things better for people in C'bus. Keep learning and help people while I am here.

4. Teach my apprentice to the best of my ability and get him to a point where we can assess whether he should continue training (and move to OR with us) or move on.

Everything else is gravy! So in manifesting my Will, I need to keep these 4 things in mind. I need to ensure I have enough life space to make these things happen, make sure that I am feeding these goals with words and deeds in my daily life. Making every day choices that reinforce what my goals are.

I often do this kind of assessment several times a year, doing divination to ensure it's not just ego talking. How do you follow your Fate?

The Fiction of "Will", Part Two

Last blog post, I started talking about how one of Victor Anderson's quotes has been misused. "Submit your life force to no one and no thing." I stated that "life force" was being falsely conflated with the concept of Will. As a Witch, I know that will (with a little w) is ego and individual desire and Will (with a big W) is just a synonym for Fate.

So let's break it down further, shall we?

 What is Will?
Will to me, which the ceremonialists call "True Will", is not about individuals at all. Finding "your True Will" has so very little to do with what you like and don't like as a person. It has precious little to do with following desire. Desire is will (with a little W) dressed up in ego's trappings. You can choose to follow desire if you wish- but that is not actually Will. That is Ego. And it makes you a Sleeper*, not someone Awakened.

So what is Will, in my tradition? This may squick some of you, but Will is Fate. Fate is God Herself. She is living through all of us and has a consciousness. She occupies Time, Space, and Matter simultaneously. Will has precious little to do with you as an individual as you know yourself. That is merely ego. You? You are a nose hair of Old Fate. Perhaps a toenail cell. You are small and a piece of something larger. You are important in your lifetime to the whole- but make no mistake, you are tiny and will die and the whole will live beyond you just fine, thank-you-very-much. Cells die and are reborn in our bodies daily. Do you hold wakes and funerals for your dying cells? No, of course not.

We are all connected, because we are ALL Her- Fate. When you occupy time, space, and matter simultaneously, you don't have any illusions that time is linear. Fate can make anything happen, in myriad ways across many timelines and places. And when she does that, it is like a body carrying out autonomic or conscious functions- certain nerve cells will transmit messages, muscles will move, actions will be taken. All for the greater whole. And you- you are a muscle cell in a larger muscle, flexing to do work you cannot even see, most of the time.

Will is not an individual discernment ("I am following my True Will!" "I am learning my True Will!"- statements like this make me groan). Forcing stuff to happen that you "want" is akin to Mickey Mouse in Fantasia (and often yields the same results). Often your Will has nothing to do with YOU at all (or what you know as "you". "You" are merely an instrument of Fate and because you have been chosen to be that instrument- it involved "you". People who say the above statements are mistaking small w will for big W Will. "Small w" will is all about you and your ego. Big W Will is about something larger than you and you are moving and doing things- being swept up in the Flow of things. It may appear we are "doing" to manifest Will. Will is more about recognition than about decision.

This is why I am wary (and weary!) of messages from spiritual teachers talking about Will and Desire. Desire comes from an individual- it is a product of Ego. Rugged individualism is not really a Crafty outlook. It is one that is very comfortable for human beings, and I can understand why a teacher crafts a message for a larger audience that involves desire. Humans love to believe that they are special and have free will. But that idea, while comforting, is not true. Yes, most Witches are quirky, odd, and appear as "individuals" that cannot make it in Sheeple* society. But one should not mistake square pegs not fitting into round holes as "individualism". It isn't.

Ego can be involved (although you should always check yourself before you wreck yourself...) in day-to-day decisions (because they matter so very little in the larger scheme of things), but the big decisions? They were never really up to you in the first place. Sounds scary, huh? It is. It's terrifying having that knowledge on a daily basis. It's perpetually uncomfortable skating between my desire and Fate. It has been crazy at times and led to some serious loss. I watch people comfort themselves with cute notions of "free will" and "choice" and smile, but smile sadly.

So then, what does the Victor Anderson quote actually mean? What IS "life force" if not Will/Fate? Life force is the stuff that connects you with all of creation. It makes you no more and no less important than others. When you submit your life force, you make someone else more important than you. Going back to the analogy of a cell in the body- if you submit your life force, you do not function as the cell you need to be- you give up that purpose for the sake of another cell. We all have done this, in myriad ways- here's a small mundane example of one of mine:

When I was married, my wife was what I liked to call "a militant sharer". Everything had to be fair, even food types and portions. If we were splitting something, we adopted her "one person cuts, the other person chooses method". When we ate at restaurants, she would fret unless we both got something we would both like and then we shared meals, halfsies. This worked out OK most of the time, but there are things that I liked that she did not, such as cruciferous vegetables. I went for 10 years without eating broccoli because my wife was a militant sharer. If I tried to assert my preference and order something that we would not share, I would get pouts and sulks. Now, this is not a huge issue. I ignored it and went along with it for a decade. Then we broke up. And I could order anything I damn well wanted. I came to realize that in this small way, I was submitting my life force to my wife- and I chose to do so. We all chose it when we do it (never play the "I had no choice game, in this realm. It is hardly ever true.).

So- to rap up: You are important, but no more important than any other living thing. That's right- you are as important as a dandelion or a crow or the President of the United States or any of the gods you traffic with. You do not have free will. You have some leeway in your day-to-day decisions, but mostly Fate decides what is happening. If you fight it, chances are you will hurt yourself and not get your way anyway. (Think of the muscle cell working with all its might against the flexing of the others. It will likely not work, strain the muscle and harm that cell most of all.) When Victor was talking about not submitting your life force- he was trying to get most folks to realize that we are peers with the gods, that we are gods ourselves, because we are a part of the divine. Most people give themselves away in a series of small actions each day. This is an important habit for a Witch to give up as quickly as possible. It interferes with understanding of Fate and how She works. It reinforces the idea of free will, even as you surrender yours.

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*"Sleeper" or "Sheeple" refers to someone who goes through their life in the mundane world without knowing about or understanding the other worlds. It is someone who denies that we are all connected. It is someone who thinks of themselves and not the impact of their words and deeds on others. It is mindset devoid of the divine. An awakened person is the opposite. They understand that we are all connected- that everyone makes an impact with what they do and say. They understand that there is a larger picture that they, as an individual, are a small (but important) piece of. Interpretations vary on this theme- an awakened person can call themselves a Witch, a Buddhist, a Christian, a Sufi, or anything else. It is HOW they interpret the external trappings of their religion that matters.

The Fiction Of "Will", Part One

"Submit your life force to no one and no thing." -Victor Anderson

When I was first passed this bit of wisdom, it was couched in a neo-Thelemite, Will-is-paramount, rugged individualist, kind of wrapping. "Don't take shit- even from the Gods." was how it was passed to me by that teacher. I have come to understand a different way of looking at this phrase, one that is not swayed by ceremonial magick and is more Crafty in its outlook.

As I advanced in my studies, gnosis, and understandings, I have had many teachers in many traditions. I have listened to the spirits. I was initiated and the floodgates opened to Mysteries I am still unraveling (and will be for a lifetime). I have done more work on myself- and as I did all of these things, I came to understand this phrase a bit differently than it was taught to me.

My Witchcraft comes from (for lack of better, less appropriative, less commonly-understood words) a more indigenous, shamanic practice than some. It is often at odds with neo-Wiccans and ceremonialists (or at least novices who seem to think ego puffery is a hallmark of their tradition- not the "higher ups" who have a bit more wisdom and experience) who think the individual, and its "will" is ALL. You know the type: standing in their "protective circle" and bullying entities. "I command you forth!" or "We invoke you!"

I have been there, doing those things and saying those words before- but it always felt weird. Not because I felt that I was less important than these other entities (many in certain religions feel that we are puny and must grovel- this is not what I mean)- but because I felt I was a peer to these non-corporeals.

Frankly, I have always hated bullies. And to me, some of this magical posturing smacks of bullying. Who wants to come to a party when you know that when you arrive, some jerk in a robe holding a knife or wand is gonna tell you what you can and cannot do- like they are the boss? How does this build peers, friends, and allies from other realms?

When I was a baby Witch (1989!) I lived with a boyfriend who was in the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. He was a good guy, a talented artist, and a gifted magician. He taught me many things and helped me memorize all the lists of correspondences (holy crap, those folks like to compare everything!). We always fought when we did ritual together. I did not have the words back then to make my argument clear, but I do now. It started when he wanted the altar in our rituals to be in the East, and I wanted it in the North. (Back then, I had a neo-Wicca orientation that North was earth, and his orientation was East was air.) He would say, "East is air- it's the human mind, the seat of intellect." This was less than compelling for me. My argument was, "We humans are not the center of the universe. Intellect only goes so far. We must start outside of ourselves. Magic/k is not *just* in our heads."

That was the beginning of me becoming disenchanted with many traditions I once sought and communed with- ones that favored human beings over the rest of creation. Ones that feel we are more special or chosen over the rest of the worlds. Ones that believed that all we needed was will (which assumes individual will and possible force. Many ceremonialists try and bully spirits into doing their bidding. I don't like this behavior in the human realm and I'll be damned if I promote it elsewhere.).

It comes back to Victor Anderson's quote in the first paragraph, above. My teachers simply used that phrase to mean "Don't take any shit." One even said it to me when a particular god was asking me to do things for him. "You can say no." she said. To her, the requests coming to me from this god were possibly irritating and/or overwhelming. She was completely ignoring the thrill that I had that this magnificent creature was communicating with ME, consistently and clearly, and I desperately *wanted* to take on his requests. To me, after years of seeking, it was a miracle that I was getting such information from a non-corporeal being and that it was verifiable as coming from him, and not my imagination or wishful thinking. I was a little disenchanted with her "sage advice". I went home and started the work requested anyway.

I believe Victor's quote has been abused in Witchcraft circles. I think people, including many teachers who should know better, have used the phrase in a rugged individualist way and it DOES NOT MEAN THAT. They are conflating "life force"  with Will (what the ceremonialists call True Will). And life force is not the same thing as Will (with a capital W).

I am much more in line with Robert Cochrane's "Law" of the Witches, rather than ceremonial magick's take on Will:

• Do not do what you desire -- do what is necessary.
• Take all you are given -- give all of yourself.
• What I have -- I hold!" (this has multiple meanings, but one is akin to "Submit your life-force to no one or no thing.")
• When all is lost, and not until then, prepare with die with dignity.

Stay tuned for Part Two, later this week!

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*"Sleeper" or "Sheeple" refers to someone who goes through their life in the mundane world without knowing about or understanding the other worlds. It is someone who denies that we are all connected. It is someone who thinks of themselves and not the impact of their words and deeds on others. It is mindset devoid of the divine. An awakened person is the opposite. They understand that we are all connected- that everyone makes an impact with what they do and say. They understand that there is a larger picture that they, as an individual, are a small (but important) piece of. Interpretations vary on this theme- an awakened person can call themselves a Witch, a Buddhist, a Christian, a Sufi, or anything else. It is HOW they interpret the external trappings of their religion that matters.

Where is Witch Mom?

Hello, y'all! Sorry it has been a month since my last post. Witch Mom has been taking a back seat to Boline Apothecary and my call to heal  in this last month and the attention is creating some really wonderful things!

Boline Apothecary now in three retail locations, with two more in the works. I have three workshops to teach in October in November. I did two farmer's markets this summer and will be doing two more this winter (indoors, of course!). I have increased the number of products I offer (last year, I started with 5, I now have 60). I have been written up in a small local publication and have started to make even more local contacts that will be important next year (growers, beekeepers, store keepers, journalists, market managers and more)!

Most importantly, I am furthering my healing abilities with Boline and answering the call of my patron to heal. Boline has reached more people in need that I ever did as just me, Lily. I have done one-on-one consultations with several here in C'bus for their ongoing conditions and feel like I am helping. And even bigger news- I am adding to my healing abilities by entering a master's program for Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCN, which includes acupuncture, Chinese herbalism, cupping, moxibustion, and more) this week!

I am all at once excited, anticipatory, fearful, and intimidated. I got my textbooks for the quarter last week and have been doing the first week's assignments (I got my syllabus in one class already- surface anatomy.) and... wow. I will be memorizing a LOT of stuff. Unfamiliar stuff. Time to brew up some brain tonic! Good thing I have some ginko, gotu kola, peppermint, and rosemary (my fave blend for such a thing!)- and Boline will probably sell the stuff as "student helper"!

My TCM program is three years long. I will likely post here about what I am learning both in class and outside. I will also post about the other aspects of my life: I continue training with my apprentice and teaching my son the Craft. We are organizing a rite for Samhain. And I encounter interesting information that gets added to my theological knapsack weekly.*

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* Last week on The Forum (A wonderful BBC radio program), they were discussing breath. A scientist there was studying "breath prints", explaining that each person has a unique exhale, based not only on the air that they inhaled, but their unique biochemistry and what they have consumed through their digestive tract. They are as unique as fingerprints. I have been, since a wee tot, using deliberate exhales as an offering to our sap-kin and green-kin. Sometimes it was an unsolicited offering. Sometimes I offer this in exchange for taking a part of the plant for medicine. Now I understand it is not only food for the plant, but also a personalized gift, that could only come from me.