Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I was asked to make a top 10 list of anything about natural parenting, and co-sleeping was the topic that pulled on my heartstrings. It is the bread-and-butter of natural, attachment parenting (right after breastfeeding) if you ask me. As someone who did not make enough breastmilk to sustain my son (and then had my supply dwindle too early), I take solace in the fact that Rowan has co-slept since he came home with us. It has made him securely attached, in my opinion.
There are myriad benefits to co-sleeping: some practical, some reinforcing the bonds of parent and child, and others just plain selfish:
1. More sleep. When your baby wakes up in the middle of the night, wouldn't you rather roll over, tend to her/him, and after a few minutes of nursing or soothing, have them (and you) back asleep? Or would you rather not hear the baby til it has been crying for a minute or so, get out of bed in a dream-filled stupor, possibly trip over something, check on a baby in another bed or room (a baby that does not want to be alone in the first place so needs picking up and cuddling and reassurance of your presence), who has by now cried enough that they are full-blown awake. I am a sleep glutton, so I know what my answer is!
2. I see and smell my child as my first sensory experience of the day. I wake to the smell of his hair, which smells like a combination of cedar and strawberries for some reason. What a delicious way to wake up!
3. It's easier to nurse at night when your baby does not yet sleep through the night when they are right next to you. Wear a loose top (or no top at all) and voila!
4. My son is more adventurous, confident, and secure- because he knows I am there for him, even when he is unconscious. I attribute his gregariousness to getting his needs met when he "asks" (meaning cries, points and says "eh?", or snuggles up to me in the dark).
5. He curls into mama's spoon like a little cashew nut baby in the night. He is probably the best cuddler and snuggler I have ever known. (Bonus- during the day, he gives the most awesome hugs!)
6. My son wakes up cheerful and squealing, which is more than I can say for me. It's hard to be cranky when you see a beaming toddler, laughing and saying mama, ready to play with you.
7. I sleep better when I sleep with Rowan. I don't know what primal forces are at work, but when I am not sleeping with Rowan (My partner and I started taking turns- one night on, one night off to ensure both of us get a decent night's sleep and dreams. We assumed the person whose night off it was would get a better night's sleep, but both of us have found that is not exactly true. On a regular night when he is not sick or teething, the person in bed with Rowan seems to relax more fully and gets a better night's sleep. The person in the next room tends to toss and turn and have a restless sleep. We think it is nature's way of telling us where we should be!)
8. The bed is not a bad place. I have babysat for so many kids who think of their bed as a punishment, exile, or the last place that they want to be. "Go to your room!" should never be a punishment in my eyes. After showers, we have nakkie time on the bed. We dress him and change him there. It is a regular fixture- one that means family time, not exile from the family.
9. Less "stuff". Being a parent means lots more baby gear invading your space. If you are an urban apartment dweller like me, that can take its toll. But co-sleeping means less furniture crowding your space, along with all the other benefits!
10. That is what he told me he prefers. I listen to my son and try and meet his needs. He prefers to sleep with us- he has made that quite plain.
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Co-sleeping at naptime with daddy |
There are myriad benefits to co-sleeping: some practical, some reinforcing the bonds of parent and child, and others just plain selfish:
1. More sleep. When your baby wakes up in the middle of the night, wouldn't you rather roll over, tend to her/him, and after a few minutes of nursing or soothing, have them (and you) back asleep? Or would you rather not hear the baby til it has been crying for a minute or so, get out of bed in a dream-filled stupor, possibly trip over something, check on a baby in another bed or room (a baby that does not want to be alone in the first place so needs picking up and cuddling and reassurance of your presence), who has by now cried enough that they are full-blown awake. I am a sleep glutton, so I know what my answer is!
2. I see and smell my child as my first sensory experience of the day. I wake to the smell of his hair, which smells like a combination of cedar and strawberries for some reason. What a delicious way to wake up!
Rowan always slept better with one of us. |
4. My son is more adventurous, confident, and secure- because he knows I am there for him, even when he is unconscious. I attribute his gregariousness to getting his needs met when he "asks" (meaning cries, points and says "eh?", or snuggles up to me in the dark).
5. He curls into mama's spoon like a little cashew nut baby in the night. He is probably the best cuddler and snuggler I have ever known. (Bonus- during the day, he gives the most awesome hugs!)
6. My son wakes up cheerful and squealing, which is more than I can say for me. It's hard to be cranky when you see a beaming toddler, laughing and saying mama, ready to play with you.
7. I sleep better when I sleep with Rowan. I don't know what primal forces are at work, but when I am not sleeping with Rowan (My partner and I started taking turns- one night on, one night off to ensure both of us get a decent night's sleep and dreams. We assumed the person whose night off it was would get a better night's sleep, but both of us have found that is not exactly true. On a regular night when he is not sick or teething, the person in bed with Rowan seems to relax more fully and gets a better night's sleep. The person in the next room tends to toss and turn and have a restless sleep. We think it is nature's way of telling us where we should be!)
Rowan, age 3 months. |
9. Less "stuff". Being a parent means lots more baby gear invading your space. If you are an urban apartment dweller like me, that can take its toll. But co-sleeping means less furniture crowding your space, along with all the other benefits!
10. That is what he told me he prefers. I listen to my son and try and meet his needs. He prefers to sleep with us- he has made that quite plain.
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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 8 with all the carnival links.)
- Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.
- 10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.
- Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.
- Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.
- 10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.
- Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.
- Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.
- Top Ten "Dad" Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.
- Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.
- Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home - the natural place for natural birth.
- Top 10 reasons why cloth nappies are fun — Tat at Cloth Nappies Are Fun shows how using cloth nappies can brighten up your day.
- Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.
- Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.
- Top 10 ways I'm not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.
- Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent — So what makes us "natural parents," anyway? A lighthearted look at the Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent by the editors and readers of Natural Parents Network.
- The Top 10 Things Every Natural Household (with children) Should Have — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of the most common natural products and remedies she uses for health and cleaning.
- Top 10 books for raising loving, spiritual children — In her 'food for the soul' post, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her favourite spiritual books. No matter what religion you practise, there's something for everyone!
- Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.
- Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.
- My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.
- Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.
- 10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.
- Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
- Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn't breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.
- Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.
- Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.
- A Top Ten Letter To Me... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.
- Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can't Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can't be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).
- Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.
- Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.
- 10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.
- Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.
- 10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.
- The Pandas' Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.
- Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.
- Ten things everyone should know about unassisted homebirth — Olivia at Write About Birth shares practical tips for women considering an unassisted homebirth and debunks some common myths
- 10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.
- 10 Lessons in 1 Year — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares 10 parenting lessons that she has learned throughout her first year of motherhood.
- Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.
- Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child's behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.
- My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.
- Natural Cleaning Ideas - Top 10 — Laura at Laura's Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.
- My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.
- Top 10 Ways to Use Natural Parenting for Children with Special Needs — Danielle at Mommy Makes Cents feeds the needs of her family and special needs child through the use of Natural Parenting.
- Ten Fundamentals — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante gets philosophical with a list of the fundamentals that drive her natural parenting.
- 10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.
- Top Ten Natural Tools for the Work of Play — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree offers insight into 10 natural toys that will span the early years (and save you money).
- 10 differences between pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry gives her impressions about differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US.
- Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.
- Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.
- My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter's first year.
- Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.
- Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.
- Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.
- Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.
- Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.
- Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it's not just his good looks -- it's his parenting!
- 10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.
- Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives' care for pregnancy and birth.
- 10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.
- Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama's Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.
- Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.
- Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother's after giving birth.
- My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.
- The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.
- Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.
- Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she's preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.
- Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
- Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.
- Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin' Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.
- Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn't bought so much useless stuff.
I'm so with you on this list, particularly #1! Maybe it's completely selfish and lazy, but cosleeping is soooo much easier than having my baby somewhere I have to groggily stumble to several times a night. Good thing for me my son loves it so much, too! :)
ReplyDeleteI also really resonated with #7 when Mikko was a baby — I couldn't bear not to know how he was and be able to keep tabs on him, even just after he was born. Especially just after he was born!
I love(d) co-sleeping too! But I'm afraid it may be in the past tense now. It was absolutely the only way I could've survived the first year, but now I think my kiddo may not be getting quality sleep. Oh, parenting! So dynamic and full of changes! Great post!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant and beautiful. I especially love that you mention the smell of your child. I said that so many times to my husband and we all lay there and I marveled at the thought that so many parents miss out on all those things. Her breath in my face all night long has been a miracle that I'll treasure forever.
ReplyDeleteGreat list.
And this is a gorgeous blog. I love it.
Cosleeping just makes sense to me. If you think about it, what other mammal sleeps away from their young? Only humans, and only recently even in western cultures. I find sharing sleep cycles with my baby gives both of us continuity and a sense of night time peace, as well.
ReplyDeleteMy son smells like vanilla cookies and I don't know why either but I know that I love to breathe in his scent first thing in the morning. I laughed at the part about the cashew nut baby because that's what I call my son when he does his morning stretches because he looks just like one too and tops it off with a hilarious stretching grimace. Co-sleeping is definitely the way to go!
ReplyDeleteI discovered co-sleeping quite accidentally, because my babies told me that was what they would prefer (ie they wouldn't have it any other way). Once I gave up trying to do things by the book (obviously, i had the wrong book at the time), I truly enjoyed it and I am grateful to have experienced it. Co=sleeping will be one of the most treasured memories I'll ever have.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with every single one of your points!! I especially love waking up to the squeals of my little one and having his smile be the first thing I see when I open my eyes is just wonderful. Excellent post!
ReplyDeleteI've told my hubby that I think one of the reasons my son and I are so close is because we cosleep - we are constantly snuggling! From cuddling all night long, to wearing him (not as much any more), to nursing, we enjoy so many hugging opportunities. It's wonderful :) Great list!
ReplyDeleteYes! Numbers 1 and 3 were the big ones for me. I need my sleep and sharing my bed with my baby (or me in her bed, as the case was in our house) was the perfect solution. And I think I slept topless for nearly a year, which makes me laugh to think about now. How was I never cold? Baby furnace heat!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post - and the pictures are so lovely!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy co-sleeping with our kids too. The snuggles and the connection that happen at night are in a league of their own.
Yes, I totally agree on all of these! Though I also know it doesn't always work out as perfectly for everyone.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest coslept until 20 months or so, and from then on part-time until she was comfortable and happy in her own bed. It was pretty ideal. My twins closlept for 5-ish months and at first it was pretty great, but they would only sleep ON TOP of me, and that got bad, quick. It was SOOOOO hard to end the cosleeping for all the reasons you mention, and I can tell you that indeed, getting up a million times a night is downright PAINFUL (I often slept in the recliner in their room, I should have just gotten a mattress in there!). If there had not been two of them, I would have stuck with closeeping, but it ended up working well with them in their own room, too.
Oh yes, YES! loving that first smell of hair in the mornings. I SO miss co-sleeping, but fortunately my lovely 10 year old likes to sneak in for the occasional 'girly night' and I feel so blessed... (and her hair still smells awesome ;) )
ReplyDeleteRock on. Co-sleeping is the best - I feel so strongly about it that I have to stop reading opinions to the contrary because the idea of small babies alone in cribs makes me so sad. Nothing better than waking to a cheerful, smiling baby - It definitely makes being forced awake before you are ready much easier to deal with.
ReplyDeleteCo-sleeping is one of my favorite things about babies. When my oldest moved to his big boy bed, I missed him so much that I got pregnant again :) But seriously, I love how you point out that the bed isn't a place for punishment, but rather, a meeting place, a place for relaxation, and a place to get dressed. My oldest can't wait to get into his bed at night, and I really believe it's because it's been such a positive place in our house.
ReplyDelete