Saying Yes

Ro at Bay Area Discovery Museum

As Rowan becomes more of an individuated person and less of a baby, I struggle with the line between keeping him safe and saying yes. Often as an adult with my own agenda and chores, it is easier to say no to my son for my own convenience as a default- and I do not want that to be the case. I need to stop and think before I respond to Rowan and ask myself, "Is this a no because it would be bad for him to do such a thing, or is this a no because it is inconvenient for me in the moment?"

Ro at the Cal Academy of Sciences.

While having my own time and space is important, when I decided to have a child, I also decided to put some of my own stuff aside to make space for another person and their needs. Sometimes, his needs trump mine and sometimes vice versa. But I have decided that if his needs are merely coming an inconvenient time, that is not necessarily enough of a reason to say no.

For example, if I am hungry and my adult agenda is to fix dinner in an efficient manner, and Rowan's kid agenda is to "help" me cook, instead of saying no, I will grab a cheese stick to allay my immediate hunger and instead say yes. I am working hard to become a "yes mama" and creating a culture of yes and can-do in my home. I want Rowan to grow into a self-sufficient, confident person and that only comes with experience. My job, I have decided, is to say yes whenever possible.

In the Pagan Playdate Suite, PantheaCon 2011

This concept is applying more and more as he grows. He is almost two (just two short weeks- how is that possible?) and is already working on "preschool" concepts like colors, shapes, the alphabet, and numbers and counting. I am trying to create a culture of yes while teaching him- and that means leaning towards an "unschooling" method. Yes, I have manipulatives and curricula, but I try and introduce it organically and make it a game. As soon as he tires of the game, we move onto something else. Learning should be fun and something he wants to do. And so far, he is leaps and bounds ahead of his same-age peers. It seems to be working!

My approach is affecting how I am designing my homeschool curricula (that I hope to publish in a year or so). While I am writing for families other than my own, I am trying to provide a framework loose enough for experimentation and activities diverse enough to entice many kinds of kids. My son is a great teacher!