Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-changes....

Does a caravan turn back from a journey because 

of the barking and clamour of dogs? 

On a luminous night, does the outcry of dogs 

delay the full moon in its course? 

The moon sheds light and 

the dog barks. 

Everyone proceeds according to their Nature. -Rumi

Bike friendly Portland will allow us to be car-free.
The transit is also so much better than Columbus.

So my family has been doing lots of thinking lately. And we have made some major decisions. We moved to Ohio because it was good for our small family to be near extended family and a support network. We moved here because it was cheaper than our beloved Bay Area and we needed to regroup and get back on our feet financially. But it is NOT home. We have met amazing people here, and Columbus is pretty neat. It just doesn't fit all our needs.

So, here's our plan:
My partner is currently getting out of student loan default. Ohio, with its cheap cost of living is allowing us to do that. He will be able to return to school very soon and will be getting degrees all the way to PhD (to be a therapist, among other things). He will make a great therapist.

I love being near water. Not only does Portland have
the river, it also is an hour from my beloved ocean.

I am in grad school and soon will be switching tracks radically. I have been in seminary part time since 2009 and have decided it is time to move on. I gotten some great things out of SKSM, but it is not the path for me. After serving a UU congregation and finding out first hand what it is like, I have decided this is not what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I have been a healer in between other gigs for quite some time. I went to herb school (and continue a lifetime of that herbal education on my own), and am a Reiki master. I have found the call to heal to be steady and patient in the background- all while I tried on many other hats. I have decided to switch schools and prospective careers. In the fall, I will be attending a master's program in acupuncture and TCM. I will get certified and licensed and start to practice while my partner continues on with his school.

Gorgeous.

We have also decided that after my partner gets his BA and I get my acupuncture MA, we are moving... again. We have decided to move to Portland, Oregon. We have amazing friends there, it is more affordable than the Bay Area, and still has many of the things we love about Oakland, CA. It is beautiful, progressive, and clean. It is close to the radical faerie sanctuary that is near and dear to our hearts. It's a day's journey to see the Bay if we so desire. It is near some fantastic Witches we know. It is also charming in its own right- I have been several times and we have many friends there that tell us- "Come here! It is home!"

It is in Portland that we will settle, raise bees, and homestead further. It is in Portland that I will heal my community through Reiki, herbalism, and acupuncture. We just have to bide our time here a while longer.

Portland is weird enough for us. We need more weird.

So thank you, Ohio. You are good to us, allowing us to regroup and revel in family, good friends and interests, and a decent standard of living while we are here. We got to meet amazing people, and I picked up a student of the Craft while here who needed me. Don't think we are not appreciative of you, Ohio! We know what a struggle life could be- we had that constant struggle in California. While we are still considered "poor" on paper, Ohio is relatively easy and we are grateful for a few years of ease, particularly while Rowan is in these critical developmental years. We get to spend lots of quality time with him now, and that is such a gift.

Lessons for My Son: Surrender, Honor, and Trust

"Let go, or be dragged."   -Zen Proverb

Rowan, the lesson of surrender has been a hard one for your mama. We are often told in this culture that surrender is equated with defeat. But that is not the meaning of surrender that I am talking about here. The term has been linked to defeat for myriad reasons, not the least of which is sexism, plain and simple. Many religious traditions have practices that involve complete surrender, such as divine possession or oracular work- and in many of them, that is a traditional role for women or gay men. (Read: passive in that culture's eyes.)

So what do I, specifically, mean by surrender, exactly? I do not mean "giving up", squashing your Will, or submitting your life force to anyone. What I mean is allowing events to take their course and putting trust in your own GodSoul and trust in bigger forces that you are but a part of to do the right thing. It is something mama is still working out, Rowan- but it's one of those things that you know it when you see it. And it is HARD TO DO. I am a do-er kind of person, and simply be-ing and trusting others and other forces is not something that comes naturally. I have to work at it.

Frankly, my caution about setting up a situation and then surrendering to it is because many, many people in this world are huge disappointments and are cowards. You simply cannot trust them to do the right thing, or do anything at all. This is a related lesson- surround yourself with people that strive for impeccability and honor.*

I am not talking about the Jehovah Witness take on the world (the belief that action to create a world (through politics or activism) is wrong and shows that you do not believe that God is omnipotent and benevolent and looks out for His people). That take pisses me off- as it marginalizes people from their own Power. As a Witch, I believe in free will and just action in the world and working your Will.

As a Witch, knowing when to act and when to allow events to take their course is what we call discernment. And it is a skill. Mama will help you cultivate your own discernment as you grow.

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*As a sidenote, many people think impeccability is not getting into the fray- this is simply not true. Being afraid to get your hands messy is a sign of cowardice, not impeccability.