Saturday, December 18, 2010

Lessons for My Son: Surrender, Honor, and Trust

"Let go, or be dragged."   -Zen Proverb

Rowan, the lesson of surrender has been a hard one for your mama. We are often told in this culture that surrender is equated with defeat. But that is not the meaning of surrender that I am talking about here. The term has been linked to defeat for myriad reasons, not the least of which is sexism, plain and simple. Many religious traditions have practices that involve complete surrender, such as divine possession or oracular work- and in many of them, that is a traditional role for women or gay men. (Read: passive in that culture's eyes.)

So what do I, specifically, mean by surrender, exactly? I do not mean "giving up", squashing your Will, or submitting your life force to anyone. What I mean is allowing events to take their course and putting trust in your own GodSoul and trust in bigger forces that you are but a part of to do the right thing. It is something mama is still working out, Rowan- but it's one of those things that you know it when you see it. And it is HARD TO DO. I am a do-er kind of person, and simply be-ing and trusting others and other forces is not something that comes naturally. I have to work at it.

Frankly, my caution about setting up a situation and then surrendering to it is because many, many people in this world are huge disappointments and are cowards. You simply cannot trust them to do the right thing, or do anything at all. This is a related lesson- surround yourself with people that strive for impeccability and honor.*

I am not talking about the Jehovah Witness take on the world (the belief that action to create a world (through politics or activism) is wrong and shows that you do not believe that God is omnipotent and benevolent and looks out for His people). That take pisses me off- as it marginalizes people from their own Power. As a Witch, I believe in free will and just action in the world and working your Will.

As a Witch, knowing when to act and when to allow events to take their course is what we call discernment. And it is a skill. Mama will help you cultivate your own discernment as you grow.

*As a sidenote, many people think impeccability is not getting into the fray- this is simply not true. Being afraid to get your hands messy is a sign of cowardice, not impeccability.

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