After being a parent for several years, I can only conclude that our culture hates children.
Some adults ignore my son when he tries to talk to them. He looks at me, bewildered and says, "They're not answering, mommy." I shoot them a glare and say pointedly, "Yes honey- some people are just rude."
Some adults roll their eyes if Rowan's emotions run away with him and he is loud about it (He is learning how to be in control of himself- but it is a process that requires practice. No one is born with it). These adults are the same adults who do not want to be in close quarters (airplanes, elevators, restaurants) with him and freak not-so-subtly when he arrives.
The world includes humans of all ages, and I call bullshit on this artificial construct of being in "adult only" space we have created.
Below are four links that speak to this topic.
What is "adult privilege"?
How other cultures raise infants and children and why ours is so problematic.
Adult privilege run amok makes family travel a nightmare.
Expectations of public behavior are often stacked against children and those that are different than the political norm.
Showing posts with label Child Development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child Development. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Natural Parenting Update
"If there is anything that we wish to change in our children, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could be better changed in ourselves." - Carl Jung
Being a Witch means natural parenting ideas are the ones that come naturally to me, but sometimes it means more work and challenges in life! Rowan is growing so fast, sometimes I just want to document what he's up to so I will remember what the day-to-day was like!
 |
| Mmmm. Black Beans! |
Speaking and Signing: He has spoken his first word, "ball" which is easily his favorite toy. He pronounces it "bla" (I guess those end L sounds are hard!). As of this week, he has finally mastered the "m" sound and can finally say mama, which he uses to mean ME! (That makes mama smile!) He also knows sign, although he does not do any yet. He most assuredly knows "milk", "food", "sleep", "mama" and "daddy". We are teaching him "ball", "all done", "diaper", and "kiss" now- we are unsure of he understands those yet.
 |
| Barrettes and a "girly" stroller. Whatever. |
He also has some new toys that I think are important: a doll and a play purse. The doll I had made for him because I wanted a boy doll that was anatomically correct AND intact, like he is. In my quest, I found boy dolls with no genitalia and boy dolls with circumcised genitalia, but not exactly what I wanted. So I had it made. It is adorable and he loves it, especially biting its cute button nose. The purse is a toy that I found in a toy store after having Rowan carry around my purse and play with it. He obviously wanted one of his own. It's a cute colorful one that comes with a fabric cell phone, fabric play money and wallet, and a little mirror compact (fabric as well). In my opinion, children need toys that help them sort out the world- toys that mimic what adults do (brooms and dustpan, costumes, play food to prepare, and yes- purses) and dolls to help them learn how to relate emotionally to others and have confidantes. I want my son to be an empathetic compassionate person, and he may be a father one day. A doll is a perfect way to help him get started on both roles.
Developing Autonomy: He wants to do most things for himself these days- if we are eating a meal, he wants us to hand him the food piece or put it on his tray. How dare we put it in his mouth for him! And he hates when he is not in control of his body (like when we dress him, wipe a runny nose, or change his diaper) and fights us every step of the way, LOUDLY. He is his own person with his own ideas of how his world should be. It's adorable and we apologize when we must fuss over him in this way.
Co-Sleeping: Rowan has only ever slept in his crib for 10 minutes (we had a co-sleeper bassinette attached to the bed). He was so upset from that experience (I believe that it reminded him of being in the NICU, alone) in his first few hours home that I put him into bed next to me where he snuggled and was able to smell me and he has slept with us ever since. It has worked out quite well, although soon, he will need his own short bed. He is almost a toddler! So we plan on shopping soon for a convertible crib/toddler bed/twin bed/full bed combo to get in the new year.
Vaccinations: Rowan still does not have any vaccinations, and won't until at least a year of age, if then. I know this issue brings up a lot of intense feelings on both sides of the debate and I am doing my best to remain impartial and objective and read as much as I can about it. Needless to say, there are so many problems that I have read about (and yes, I know the autism research was faked- I am talking about other health problems), that I am wary. So I continue to educate myself about it. No decisions need to be made now.
 |
| Punkin Patch! |
The other thing that is confusing him is we taught him that good enthusiasm is equated with clapping ("yay!") and now he "claps" ON things he likes and is having fun with- which is to say- he hits them repeatedly, over and over. I am fine when it is a toy, not so fine with it when it is a person or animal. So we are trying to explain the nuance and teach him what gentle touches are like. It is slow going. I think I am going to have to channel my inner thespian and cry to get his attention or something- cuz when we say "no", he laughs. While I am glad that he does not understand to fear someone if they are stern, it does make for a conundrum getting your point across. When we say "gentle" and use his hand to stroke what he just hit, he'll do that for a while, then it's back to hitting. Sigh.
Getting Around: He is a mobile baby- and boy can he move fast! He can crawl so fast we have to jog to catch up and it will no doubt be soon that he is walking. He already crawls to furniture, only to pull himself up and stand there (and sometimes dance). He has taken one step already, but usually he falls to his butt and starts to crawl if you ask him to come over. We hope that soon he'll be walking- after all, he's getting heavy!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Book Review: Pagan Parenting by Kristin Madden
Pagan Parenting, subtitled "Spiritual, Magical, and Emotional Development of the Child" was a book I snatched up as soon as I became aware of its existance. It seemed right up my alley- as I intend on raising my son in our religious tradition (Feri Witchcraft) and am interested in developing a age-appropriate religious and homeschool curricula for him steeped in the knowledge that Rowan is a spiritual (as well as physical and emotional) being.
I bought this book when I was pregnant, and I was so excited to read the first chapter on incarnation. In it, that author discusses how to attune to your in utero child through energy and dream exercises. It talks of how the energetic systems are developing in the child's body before and after birth, just as its physical and mental capacities are growing, too.
Because the book discusses simple exercises that you can do with your very young child to develop her/his psychic ability (games, dreams, breathing, working with his/her aura), this has been a frequent re-read now that Rowan is here.
The book is also valuable to parents of older children: exercises for health and healing, bolstering your family connection through rituals, sabbats and esbats, meals, and activities, and much more are discussed. There are activities for children and tweens. There is even a Q & A chapter on the hard questions any parent encounters- with suggested answers from a pagan perspective.
Oddly enough, while the author identifies herself as on a "shamanic path" and mentions being a Druid, the book seems to be written especially for Wiccans (the references to "the God" and "the Goddess" as opposed to a polytheistic "gods and goddesses" is a common refrain in the book). But I find it is helpful for pagans of all stripes (as I don't identify as Wiccan at all, and I enjoyed the book). I found some of the exercises inspirational both to do "as is" and as a starting point to develop something "more Feri in flavor" for Rowan.
I especially was charmed by the chapter that discusses helping the child build a first altar- I am so looking forward to the time that Rowan can tell us what he wants on it and why!
Author: Kristin Madden
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide
Price: $14.95 USD , $22.95 CAN
ISBN: 1-56718-492-8
Topics Covered: Parenting, Religion, Spirituality, Childhood Development, Exercises and Activities
Target Audience: Parents and Caregivers of Children and Teens, Pagans- especially Wiccans.
Witch Mom Rating: Two and a Half Hats:
A valuable resource. Isn't all things to all trads, but does a great job being general enough on trad specifics but specific enough on activities and exercises to be of value.
Pagan Parenting (Revised Edition)
(link to buy this book, if you so desire)
I bought this book when I was pregnant, and I was so excited to read the first chapter on incarnation. In it, that author discusses how to attune to your in utero child through energy and dream exercises. It talks of how the energetic systems are developing in the child's body before and after birth, just as its physical and mental capacities are growing, too.
Because the book discusses simple exercises that you can do with your very young child to develop her/his psychic ability (games, dreams, breathing, working with his/her aura), this has been a frequent re-read now that Rowan is here.
The book is also valuable to parents of older children: exercises for health and healing, bolstering your family connection through rituals, sabbats and esbats, meals, and activities, and much more are discussed. There are activities for children and tweens. There is even a Q & A chapter on the hard questions any parent encounters- with suggested answers from a pagan perspective.
Oddly enough, while the author identifies herself as on a "shamanic path" and mentions being a Druid, the book seems to be written especially for Wiccans (the references to "the God" and "the Goddess" as opposed to a polytheistic "gods and goddesses" is a common refrain in the book). But I find it is helpful for pagans of all stripes (as I don't identify as Wiccan at all, and I enjoyed the book). I found some of the exercises inspirational both to do "as is" and as a starting point to develop something "more Feri in flavor" for Rowan.
I especially was charmed by the chapter that discusses helping the child build a first altar- I am so looking forward to the time that Rowan can tell us what he wants on it and why!
Formal Rating:
Title: Pagan Parenting Author: Kristin Madden
Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide
Price: $14.95 USD , $22.95 CAN
ISBN: 1-56718-492-8
Topics Covered: Parenting, Religion, Spirituality, Childhood Development, Exercises and Activities
Target Audience: Parents and Caregivers of Children and Teens, Pagans- especially Wiccans.
Witch Mom Rating: Two and a Half Hats:
Pagan Parenting (Revised Edition)
(link to buy this book, if you so desire)
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Watching My Son Grow
Every day, I watch my son make leaps and bounds in his cognitive, psychic, and physical development and it floors me sometimes. I wanted to document some of the things that I have noticed in the past couple weeks:
1. We live in Oakland, CA- best known this past week for the demonstrations, riots, and looting that took place (after a BART (transit) cop got a 2-5 year sentence for shooting an unarmed black man (who was face down on the ground, defenseless and unarmed) in the back. It was caught on video by many lookers on.) here recently. It's been a somber time here in Oakland.
The day of the verdict, I was out having coffee with a friend and Rowan at a neighborhood cafe. Rowan went down for a nap about an hour later after the verdict was announced- safe at home in the back of the house. I was in the front, working on my computer. At some point,I heard him fuss and cry, so I went in the back to tend to him. It was then that I heard- far off in the distance- the protesters. They were making their way down our busy street to Fruitvale BART, where the murder took place, for a rally. They were not loud and it was several blocks away, unamplified. But the energy was unmistakable and I could hear the distant chants of "No Justice, No Peace" and cars honking in support as they passed by.
I am convinced that Rowan was awakened by the anger, frustration, and sadness of the protestors several blocks away.
Background: Rowan sleeps through crazy loud noises all the time. Semi trucks, sirens, vacuum cleaners right next to him- nothing bothers him. Noise is not an issue. Energy however, is. He is highly sensitive and has been from the start. Tweakers (people on drugs like speed, cocaine, meth), schizophrenics and bipolar folks (whose energy is spiky and unpredictable), overly negative people, and also creepy people of different stripes all freak him out. Often in these cases, he turns inward and his eyes become unfocused. He's trying to cope/escape the best he knows how. If he's able, he clings to Mom or Dad for refuge inside our energy body to shield him from the unfamiliar and uncomfortable energy coming his way.
Anyway, back to the story. He woke up and was crying. I went back to soothe him and see if he was going to sleep more or get up, and that's when I heard the faint sounds of protesters. He was very agitated, thrashing from side to side in the bed and the only thing that helped was holding him and sheltering him from some of the hurt he could feel and subsequently casting circle and shield and protect the house from excessive anger coming from the outside. After that, he seemed to be better.
He stayed up late that night- probably picking up on Mommy and Daddy's agitation (we both were on live twitter and blog feeds all night, trying to keep up with the protests, what was going down in our town, and what the cops were doing). But he did not thrash in agitation like before, thankfully. I was glad to be able to shield him a little. It's not as if he hasn't been energetically sensitive before, as I said. It's just that up until this point, Rowan seemed to only be affected by energy in his immediate presence. Now his range of field has expanded. An interesting and noteworthy development in my little witchlet.
2. He has become a master manipulator. He squeals and mock cries, only to immediately stop, smile, and have his eyes sparkle as soon as we give him whatever it is he is squealing for. He is learning to master his world (that would be us!) and it is astounding to see how smart he is. At least we know that we can avert a meltdown this way!
3. He is learning language, even though he himself cannot speak or sign well yet. He definitely knows the words "Rowan", "milk", "Ba" (bottle), "sleepy sleepy", "Mommy", "Daddy" and "bird" (we have pet birds). He also knows "up" and we ask him to raise his hands (so that we can get under his arms to lift him easily) if he wants to be picked up. We are working on "change" (as in diapers), "food" (as he just started solids), "more", "hi" and "shower".
4. He is going through a frustrating phase of fighting sleep (naps and for the night) and intentionally works himself up into a frenzy so he cannot fall asleep. It takes a whole routine now, whereas before, he would just fall asleep (twice during the day, and then again for the night). He usually employs the strategy of kicking frantically and moving his arms (one day I want to get him on a blue screen backdrop doing it, as I could manipulate it in some video software and have it look like he is walking through Paris or something.) so that he won't fall asleep with all that movement.
Tonight, I foiled that plan by putting him in his sleepsack (the awesome European one from Nightshade! Thanks!) and then into the swing. Because his legs were encompassed in the sack, and the sack was pinned down by the swing's tray/leg separator, he could not kick. His solution? He went out of his way to pull himself up into an upright position (the swing was in a sleep inducing recline position), holding onto the tray for dear life- grinning in a ridiculously huge way at his triumph over sleep. We tested this hypothesis- to see if this was why he was doing this strange thing. Sometimes he would recline back as he tired himself out and then we would say, "Are you sleepy sleepy?" "You gonna go sleepy sleepy? Or some such thing. At those magic words, he would immediately employ his wakeful strategy again, causing us to laugh.
5. He is sitting up unassisted for longer periods these days- he even had a shopping cart ride at the supermarket and LOVED IT. It was all we could do to get his mouth away from that nasty cart. We lined it with a blanket, but still. Eew.
6. His love of solid foods is amazing- he squeals and demands more and is actually starting to have some minor fits of pique- I would not call them temper tantrums quite yet- more like a precursor of what loveliness is to come- if we are not fast enough with the goods. So far, he's has carrots, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, apples, blueberries, blackberries, and rice cereal. He eats about a third of one of those baby food jars at a time, gleefully.
7. He had another doctor's visit and is 27 inches long, his head is 17 inches around, and he weighs almost 18 pounds. These are his stats at 5.5 months.
8. Yesterday, we took him to the county fair. I was excited to see if there was any spectacle there that would catch his attention. Mommy likes the animals. He wasn't too interested in sheep, pigs, or cows in pens. But he liked the peacock and turkeys strutting in their pens. His favorite thing was a kids event- a two clown circus show. He was mesmerized by their juggling and their crazy toilet paper launching machines. As we were leaving, we stopped to get daddy some cotton candy and he got to see some of the carnival rides. He was entranced by the flashing lights and movement of the rides and screaming people. It was cute to watch.
Ok- enough mundane things. Next post will be about teaching kids the Craft, promise!
1. We live in Oakland, CA- best known this past week for the demonstrations, riots, and looting that took place (after a BART (transit) cop got a 2-5 year sentence for shooting an unarmed black man (who was face down on the ground, defenseless and unarmed) in the back. It was caught on video by many lookers on.) here recently. It's been a somber time here in Oakland.
The day of the verdict, I was out having coffee with a friend and Rowan at a neighborhood cafe. Rowan went down for a nap about an hour later after the verdict was announced- safe at home in the back of the house. I was in the front, working on my computer. At some point,I heard him fuss and cry, so I went in the back to tend to him. It was then that I heard- far off in the distance- the protesters. They were making their way down our busy street to Fruitvale BART, where the murder took place, for a rally. They were not loud and it was several blocks away, unamplified. But the energy was unmistakable and I could hear the distant chants of "No Justice, No Peace" and cars honking in support as they passed by.
I am convinced that Rowan was awakened by the anger, frustration, and sadness of the protestors several blocks away.
Background: Rowan sleeps through crazy loud noises all the time. Semi trucks, sirens, vacuum cleaners right next to him- nothing bothers him. Noise is not an issue. Energy however, is. He is highly sensitive and has been from the start. Tweakers (people on drugs like speed, cocaine, meth), schizophrenics and bipolar folks (whose energy is spiky and unpredictable), overly negative people, and also creepy people of different stripes all freak him out. Often in these cases, he turns inward and his eyes become unfocused. He's trying to cope/escape the best he knows how. If he's able, he clings to Mom or Dad for refuge inside our energy body to shield him from the unfamiliar and uncomfortable energy coming his way.
Anyway, back to the story. He woke up and was crying. I went back to soothe him and see if he was going to sleep more or get up, and that's when I heard the faint sounds of protesters. He was very agitated, thrashing from side to side in the bed and the only thing that helped was holding him and sheltering him from some of the hurt he could feel and subsequently casting circle and shield and protect the house from excessive anger coming from the outside. After that, he seemed to be better.
He stayed up late that night- probably picking up on Mommy and Daddy's agitation (we both were on live twitter and blog feeds all night, trying to keep up with the protests, what was going down in our town, and what the cops were doing). But he did not thrash in agitation like before, thankfully. I was glad to be able to shield him a little. It's not as if he hasn't been energetically sensitive before, as I said. It's just that up until this point, Rowan seemed to only be affected by energy in his immediate presence. Now his range of field has expanded. An interesting and noteworthy development in my little witchlet.
2. He has become a master manipulator. He squeals and mock cries, only to immediately stop, smile, and have his eyes sparkle as soon as we give him whatever it is he is squealing for. He is learning to master his world (that would be us!) and it is astounding to see how smart he is. At least we know that we can avert a meltdown this way!
3. He is learning language, even though he himself cannot speak or sign well yet. He definitely knows the words "Rowan", "milk", "Ba" (bottle), "sleepy sleepy", "Mommy", "Daddy" and "bird" (we have pet birds). He also knows "up" and we ask him to raise his hands (so that we can get under his arms to lift him easily) if he wants to be picked up. We are working on "change" (as in diapers), "food" (as he just started solids), "more", "hi" and "shower".
4. He is going through a frustrating phase of fighting sleep (naps and for the night) and intentionally works himself up into a frenzy so he cannot fall asleep. It takes a whole routine now, whereas before, he would just fall asleep (twice during the day, and then again for the night). He usually employs the strategy of kicking frantically and moving his arms (one day I want to get him on a blue screen backdrop doing it, as I could manipulate it in some video software and have it look like he is walking through Paris or something.) so that he won't fall asleep with all that movement.
Tonight, I foiled that plan by putting him in his sleepsack (the awesome European one from Nightshade! Thanks!) and then into the swing. Because his legs were encompassed in the sack, and the sack was pinned down by the swing's tray/leg separator, he could not kick. His solution? He went out of his way to pull himself up into an upright position (the swing was in a sleep inducing recline position), holding onto the tray for dear life- grinning in a ridiculously huge way at his triumph over sleep. We tested this hypothesis- to see if this was why he was doing this strange thing. Sometimes he would recline back as he tired himself out and then we would say, "Are you sleepy sleepy?" "You gonna go sleepy sleepy? Or some such thing. At those magic words, he would immediately employ his wakeful strategy again, causing us to laugh.
5. He is sitting up unassisted for longer periods these days- he even had a shopping cart ride at the supermarket and LOVED IT. It was all we could do to get his mouth away from that nasty cart. We lined it with a blanket, but still. Eew.
6. His love of solid foods is amazing- he squeals and demands more and is actually starting to have some minor fits of pique- I would not call them temper tantrums quite yet- more like a precursor of what loveliness is to come- if we are not fast enough with the goods. So far, he's has carrots, sweet potatoes, butternut squash, apples, blueberries, blackberries, and rice cereal. He eats about a third of one of those baby food jars at a time, gleefully.
7. He had another doctor's visit and is 27 inches long, his head is 17 inches around, and he weighs almost 18 pounds. These are his stats at 5.5 months.
8. Yesterday, we took him to the county fair. I was excited to see if there was any spectacle there that would catch his attention. Mommy likes the animals. He wasn't too interested in sheep, pigs, or cows in pens. But he liked the peacock and turkeys strutting in their pens. His favorite thing was a kids event- a two clown circus show. He was mesmerized by their juggling and their crazy toilet paper launching machines. As we were leaving, we stopped to get daddy some cotton candy and he got to see some of the carnival rides. He was entranced by the flashing lights and movement of the rides and screaming people. It was cute to watch.
Ok- enough mundane things. Next post will be about teaching kids the Craft, promise!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)